No Such Luck
by xjellytotlubz
Summary: Day by day, Kayleigh's life starts to crumble around her after her last gig. As her exams start getting closer, Kayleigh questions herself if what's she's doing is the right thing as she's not so sure herself. Can she bring herself to trust Danny again? Will her parents ever forgive and forget? Will Kayleigh have to say goodbye to McFly forever? 3rd and final novel of Luck trilogy.
1. Prologue

Eastbourne

Kayleigh Slovenia

April – May 2004

_One door closes and two others open._

_That's what I was always told. That was what my friends, Lisa and Angie always told me when times were tough. They were always right, weren't they? I mean, when something bad happens, something good is bound to come out of it. The wheel always spins back._

_Well, I started to question myself whether or not the wheel would ever spin back. Nor would I believe that two other doors would open. Even if moving to Brighton with my dad was an open door, I wasn't able to see it. I couldn't even see any upcoming open doors for me after what happened the night of our last gig. My band: Broken Wings. Being on that stage, performing in front of not only the pupils from school, but also parents and the citizens of Eastbourne had to be the best moment in my life. I then started to believe that no matter what anyone thought about my being with Danny, life would improve. But it didn't. Especially not after what Danny did. Not after he hit James._

_I look back at the situation and think that if Danny hadn't hit James, then everything would have been easier, smooth and happier. And Charlotte wouldn't have been sent to hospital with a minor case of concussion. And perhaps I would have more trust with Danny and that things would have worked out with us. And then James wouldn't have pushed me too far when I didn't want it. And then maybe, just maybe my letters to Panya wouldn't have been sent out to everyone, making me lose my friends and those closest to me._

_Then perhaps my story wouldn't end in having a severe case of concussion and a cracked skull that nearly cost me my whole life._


	2. Chapter 1

**Friday 18th April**

It was midnight and I was still sat in the waiting room in the hospital like I had been for the past hour and a half. Charlotte was in one of the wards where my dad and many other doctors were working on her. I didn't know if she was okay. As Danny charged up to James, James had picked up a large rock and chucked it at Danny but it smacked Charlotte on the head instead.

Charlotte, the twenty year old American who offered to help my band prepare for our gig. She used to babysit me when I was eight years old and she was in a band herself. The thought of loosing her did scare me, but I didn't want to think about that. I had my fingers crossed, hoping that she was going to be okay.

I kicked off my black ankle boots and pulled my feet onto the chair, hugging my knees and looking into space, not blinking. I couldn't remember what happened after Charlotte fell to the ground apart from screaming and James running away. Sometime after that, I found myself sitting in the hospital's waiting room with Lisa and Angie. Sam offered to buy us some light refreshments but Lisa asked him to leave us and wait outside with McFly. The nurses only allowed the three of us to wait so the boys waited out in the car park.

I was sat on my own for a while as Lisa and Angie went outside to see Lisa's mum, Ms Levett, as she had arrived, worried as hell. They came back in and Ms Levett offered me a lift back to her house, saying that I could stay over for the night. I said no. Lisa started saying that I should get a decent nights sleep as we had school the same day but I knew that even if I was lying in a bed, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to sleep. Ms Levett sighed and bought me a packet of cheese and onion crisps and a bottle of water from the vending machine. She then squeezed my arm tightly. I looked at her and found myself apologising for the whole incident at her house where I set the pancakes alight and burnt her stove and pan. To my surprise, Ms Levett laughed and said something along the lines of: "We all make mistakes, Kayleigh. No one is perfect and we learn to accept our own faults."

Ms Levett, Lisa and Angie left the hospital so I was alone, waiting for an hour and a half. Charlotte was still in the ward. I was still wearing my outfit I wore on stage.

Every so often, some nurses would offer me coffee but I said nothing. I was curled up in the chair, looking into space, unblinking. The next thing I knew, I woke up about three thirty in the morning. I was lying down along three seats with my head on a pillow and a blanket over me. I must have fallen asleep without realising. I slowly sat up and I heard a nurse say: "She's awake." Then there were some footsteps approaching me and a voice came. A voice I least wanted to hear.

"What's up, Kayleigh?" Joe Carr beamed as he knelt beside me. I groaned as I rubbed my eyes, only remembering that I was still wearing make up. Joe Carr was wearing his work clothes. I quickly looked around my surroundings, feeling rather dazed after everything that had happened. "Don't worry; we're still in the hospital." Joe Carr reassured me.

"How is she?" I managed to say as I pulled the thick blanket over my shoulders.

Joe Carr sighed heavily. "She's going to be okay. She'll be let out of hospital sometime tomorrow," He paused for a moment. "She has a minor case of concussion but it's not too severe or life threatening," He then smiled. "Everything will be okay."

"Where's dad?"

"He'll be out in a minute."

I sighed and before I knew it, I started to cry. I wasn't exactly too sure why but I guess that it was the relief of finding out that Charlotte was going to be okay. Joe Carr sat beside me, with an arm round my shoulders, rocking me back and forth, cooing and trying to calm me down. As much as I wanted to, I wasn't able to control my tears; they just carried on spilling out. But once I had finally calmed down, Joe Carr said that I had a visitor. At first, I was expecting it to be mum to take me home. But it was Danny. He was slowly approaching me with his hands tucked in his jeans. The look of angst was shown clearly on his face. I looked away as Joe Carr stood up, saying that he'll leave us to it.

Silence followed.

Danny was the first to speak.

"Kayleigh," But I didn't move. "Kayleigh, I wasn't expecting James to do that. If I knew he would do anything as dangerous as that then I wouldn't have hit him in the first place." Danny sat down in the seat beside me.

"Danny, if you had the common sense about what James can do, then you would have thought twice about hitting him," I said harshly. "You had _no_ right to do that, Danny!"

"And I'm sorry!" Danny looked a little taken aback from my sudden burst of anger. "If I could turn back the clocks to stop myself from doing so, I would, Kayleigh, because you don't know how awful I feel about Charlotte," I scowled at the carpet as Danny slowly reached for my hair and tucked a piece behind my ear. "I just wanted to protect you, Kayleigh. I don't want James near you."

"Stop!" I shouted. "Danny, I don't want anyone covering for me any longer. I don't want people to get themselves into trouble just to protect me. Just do me a favour and leave me to sort out things for myself. If James wants to hurt me, then he can come after me because I'm done here. I really am."

Danny frowned as he drew his hand away from my face. "What do you mean, done here?" He asked. "Kayleigh, I never asked for any of this to happen!"

"Well maybe you've learnt you lesson then. Thinking about your actions before hand goes a long way, Danny, it really does."

"Oh and it's not like _you_ are unable to control your action," Danny raised his voice. "You can't even control your own temper for Christ sakes!" There was a long pause. "I don't think you realise how self centred and hypocritical you are, Kayleigh! All I want to do is help you and be with you," Danny then lowered his voice. "I hope you realise that I am leaving Eastbourne in three weeks." With that, Danny stood up and left the hospital.

I was expecting myself to cry again but I didn't. I focused on a spot on the carpet, breathing deeply and clenching my fists in an attempt to control my anger. I wanted dad to come out of the ward with Charlotte but he never did.

I woke up again at about five in the morning. Mum had come to collect me and took me home. I opened my eyes and saw both mum and dad stood in the doorway to the reception, talking. I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep and tried to listen to what they were saying. I couldn't catch their words but I knew that it was an argument. It wasn't a full blown shouting at each other type argument, more of a silent one. One where it was loud whispers through gritted teeth. The next thing I knew as I started to drift off to sleep again, someone picked me up and carried me out the hospital. I opened my eyes slowly as I felt the cold air outside brush against my skin. I was in dad's arms.

"Dad." I croaked but he shushed me. He put me in the car, letting me lie down across the back seats before getting into the drivers seat. Mum slid into the passenger seat. There was nothing but silence as dad drove us home.

The next thing I remembered was waking up in my bed. Everyone had gone to school but me. Mum allowed me to take the day off. I spent the rest of the day in bed, sleeping.


	3. Chapter 2

**Saturday 19th April**

I started my first proper shift at the bowling alley at nine that morning and didn't finish till five. However, the day went by very slowly and having Samantha as my working partner seemed to make the day drag on even longer. She gave me orders, telling me which sections to clean and to always help customers when asked. Whatever I did, Samantha always found a way to throw some snide comment at me, but in a subtle way, just like she did in my trial shift. Samantha was desperate to get back on bar duty and I would've been happy if she was, but I had to show my boss, Gerald Spencer, that I knew exactly what I was supposed to do and that I didn't need a working partner. However, Gerald never watched me. He was always too busy serving customers that had come in or talking to my other co workers. I knew that by that rate, Gerald would never know if I was good enough.

After my lunch break, I was stood behind the counter, writing down a list of the bowling shoes in the rack and putting them in the right compartments. Someone was smart enough to put the wrong shoes in the wrong place, so all the morning customers were given the wrong size shoes. Then I had to put the shoes in the right place and spray each one to get rid of the cheesy feet smell.

"Hold on, sweetheart," Gerald called as I started choking in the cloud of shoe spray hovering around me. "What are you doing?" His short stubby arms were resting on his rather large belly.

"Cleaning the shoes just like you said." I replied as I battered the spray cloud around me.

Gerald grunted before turning and walking out of the shoe cupboard. I watched him go before throwing the pair of shoes I was holding into its compartment.

About an hour later, I stood behind the front desk with a couple of my other co workers, counting the pairs of trainers that had been used that morning. My co workers were supposed to be helping me out under Gerald's orders but instead they settled on engaging in a conversation about the latest episode of Eastenders. I rolled my eyes as I yawned loudly, only being caught by Samantha who told me that it was rude to do so in front of customers. I spent most of my working hours trying to avoid Samantha and said as little as possible. But Samantha was like a tiger prowling in the jungle, her eyes set on her prey. I looked down at my watch as Gerald ordered Samantha and I to start polishing the spare bowling pins and balls. The two of us were sat in the back room, opening boxes that held the pins. We both said nothing as we sat either side of the back room, polishing. I could hear a loud clock ticking behind me. I wanted to turn round to check the time, but knew that if I did so, it would give Samantha a good excuse to give me a lecture about not concentrating on what I was supposed to do.

I let out a loud sigh as I looked at my reflection in the shining bowling ball. I had large black rings under my eyes. Even though I had slept for most of the day before, after spending the night at the hospital, I was still shattered. And then it occurred to me that I had about four days left at school. We would break up for study leave on Thursday.

"Kayleigh, you've been polishing that same ball for the past twenty minutes. I think it's clean enough." Samantha's voice wasn't mocking or harsh, but somewhat caring. I stopped what I was doing and put the ball down to pick up the next. Before I knew it, Samantha was by my side. She picked up a ball. "Take a break. I think you need one."

I narrowed my eyes. "Is this part of your master plan to get me fired?"

"There you go again, Kayleigh. The moment someone helps you out, you automatically back away, believing that they're against you."

"Just thanks for pointing out my flaws." I grunted. As I stood up to leave, Samantha gripped hold of my wrist to stop me.

"I know you see me as a horrible person for the things I say and I don't blame you for that, but I know what happened after your gig on Thursday," I froze. "Everyone at school knows about what James did. It went round like a bullet yesterday." I looked down at Samantha. I knew she was expecting me to say something but I didn't. I waited for her to finish. "I think James has dropped out of school. He wasn't in at all yesterday and people have started to suspect that he won't come back in, nor would he turn up to his exams. Chloe has dumped him for good. She doesn't want to date someone who still wants to get with his ex."

The bomb dropped.

I felt my knees tremble and my ongoing head ache which I had on and off came back. Samantha was looking at me with guilt in her eyes but I wouldn't take it. I didn't want to care what people said at school. After what happened with Charlotte, I wanted to throw away my whole idea of becoming somebody because I was much better off invisible.

I snatched my wrist free and left the room, without saying a word.

For the rest of our shift, Samantha avoided me. The only time she spoke to me again that day was saying what we had to do next.

It was towards the end of my shift and I felt like I would crash. I was exhausted and I just wanted to go back home to sleep and never wake up. I started to wonder if anyone would miss me if I went to sleep and never woke up, or if anyone would even notice as I'm invisible. I wished it would happen.

The bowling alley always seemed to be busier when evening came. The bar and restaurant was flooded with customers and more and more customers arrived to bowl as part of their Saturday night entertainment. I had five minutes to spare so I picked up a large bag containing balls, and carried it over to the bowling ball rack. However, as I got halfway, the bag split open, and the balls crashed to the floor and rolled away. A couple of customers screamed jumped onto the benches. Everyone's attention turned to me. I stood on the spot, motionless, not sure what to do with myself. I glanced over to Gerald who was stood behind the front desk with a slight smirk on his face. I knew that I was fired for sure. Everyone started to go back to what they were doing as I moved to pick up the balls, apologising to everyone.

Samantha helped me. She didn't even say anything. She just went over to the scattered balls and put them on the rack. I said nothing as I carried on with my job. Once all the balls were picked up, I glanced at Samantha. She didn't look frustrated or exasperated at my clumsiness yet somewhat sympathetic and worried. I ignored her as I headed to the front doors in embarrassment.

"Same time next week, sweetheart." Gerald called. I turned to look at him. He nodded and repeated what he said. I was thankful that he didn't fire me for more or less attacking the customers with the bowling balls, but I wasn't able to say anything in return. So I turned and headed for the door to walk home, but someone started to call my name. As I got out on the streets, Samantha joined me. We stood on the pavement, facing each other, but I looked at the road beside us.

"Kayleigh, I want to apologise for acting like a bitch towards you. I know it was wrong of me." She said.

"Oh, well spotted." I grumbled, not taking my eyes off the road.

"And you have every right to hate me, but I never knew how much of a hard time you've been going through. I mean, when I found out about the fight at Katy's party, I didn't know that it wasn't exactly your fault," Samantha paused as she let out a long sigh. "You know, you're not a bad person, Kayleigh. You just make yourself seem like you are. That's why many people stay clear of you and don't want to get to know you. Hate me all you want for saying this, Kayleigh, but it's the truth and I think you should know. People are scared that they'll be the next victim to your anger. And I guess James made it worse for you after saying how you dumped him first," There was another long pause and I kept my eyes fixed on the road while Samantha rummaged through her handbag. "Anyway, what I really came to tell you was that there's a party at the Community Centre tomorrow afternoon. It's a kind of disco, I guess you could say. It starts at two and I think it goes on till early morning," Samantha paused again. "Look, Kayleigh, what I'm trying to say is that I think you should go. Just to take your mind off everything. Lisa, Angie and Sam will be there." Again. Another pause. I could tell that she was choosing her words carefully. "Kayleigh, you need cheering up. I understand if you don't come but your friends are worried about you." She handed me a ticket to get into the disco. I looked at the ticket as Samantha turned and walked away.

Charlotte was sat on the sofa of our living room when I got home. I remember rushing over to her in tears, so relieved to see that she was there with us and healthy.

Screaming Lord Thomas and Headband Dan were sat on the floor, playing a game of Slam and Lovely Little Liam decided to join Charlotte and I in a hug.

"Are you going to the party tomorrow night?" Charlotte asked. The two of us sat out in the back garden, drinking hot chocolate with a thick blanket wrapped round our shoulders. I hesitated for a moment.

"My co worker was telling me about it," I mumbled, looking down at my mug. "She said that she thinks I should go."

There was a pause.

"McFly will be there." Charlotte said. I could see Charlotte watching me from the corner of my eye.

I sighed. "I can't trust Danny again. Not after he hit James." I took a sip of hot chocolate as the wind started to blow. Charlotte fidgeted on the grass and pulled the blanket more over her shoulders.

"Maybe you should give him another chance."

"Not everyone deserves a second chance."

Charlotte laughed. "And not everyone deserves your hatred, Kayleigh," Charlotte then nudged me. "I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm safe," She paused for a moment. "I only had a minor case of concussion, but I'm perfectly fine," She paused again. "I'm going to the party tomorrow night."

I said nothing.

"Lisa and Angie will be there too. And I'm sure Sam will be as well. I don't know exactly what your co worker said to you, Kayleigh, but they're right. I think you should go. It will be a good way to take your mind of things," Charlotte sighed.

With that, I rested my head on Charlotte's shoulder and closed my eyes tightly.


	4. Chapter 3

**Sunday 20th April**

I woke up that morning to find a dress laying flat across the end of my bed. All my siblings were already out of bed. Except Liam. He was still curled up under his duvet, fast asleep. I sat up and pulled the dress closer to me, fingering the soft fabric. It was a gold dress with a bronze pattern embroideied on the front. There was a thick red belt wrapped around the middle of the dress and the neck line was red too.

Somewhat confused, I stumbled out of bed and went down to the kitchen where Screaming Lord Thomas and Headband Dan were eating their breakfast. I could hear my twin sister, Tracie, talking on the phone from the lounge. I scanned the kitchen and then mum came in from the conservatory, wearing pink shorts and a white jumper. Her long, platinum blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail which fell over her shoulder. Mum smiled.

"Morning, Kayleigh," She said cheerfully. I glanced at the door to the conservatory. Mum walked over to the sink and poured herself a glass of water. "Do you like it?"

I raised an eyebrow as I sat at the table next to Thomas.

"The dress. Do you like it?" Mum asked again.

I nodded. "What's it for?"

"The party tonight."

I sighed and looked at the table. "I said I didn't want to go."

Mum laughed a little. "Don't be so silly, Kayleigh. Of course you want to go! Lisa and Angie will be there," I carried on looking at the table. "Oh come on, Kayleigh, even Charlotte will be going!" Mum moved away from the counters and sat in a chair beside me. Dan and Thomas exchanged glances before they stood up and left to sit with Tracie in the lounge. I didn't move as mum watched me. "I understand you were in shock about what happened Thursday night but you need to move on. Charlotte is fine. Shouldn't you be thankful?" I said nothing as mum sighed heavily. "Danny was an idiot for what he did. And I don't even know why he was at your school in the first place when you were at a revision session …" I could sense that mum saw the look of guilt on my face because she lowered her voice and said, "You were at a revision, session, weren't you?"

"Of course I was!" I snapped. "Where else would I be?"

There was a long pause of silence. Mum eventually stood up and walked back to the sink. "I don't want you to hang around with Danny anymore, Kayleigh. I never trusted him in the first place after you lied about his age, and knowing he just freely attacked James like that, I think it's unsafe for you to be with him."

I snorted. "Yeah, I figured out myself that it was unsafe to be with him a few weeks ago, mum."

* * *

_Dear Panya,_

_I thought I'd send you an email because I need someone to talk to. Someone who's not going to tell me off for doing the wrong thing. Also someone like yourself who understands me better than anyone else._

_My band did a gig Thursday evening at my school where all students and the citizens of Eastbourne were welcome to watch us. The buzz of going on stage, singing our own songs and doing a cover of Everything I Own, was one of the best experiences of my life. The cheer from the crowd was incredible and it made me realise that maybe that's what I should be doing for the rest of my life. Just being in a band, touring the world and selling music … although I don't think I can keep it away from my mother any longer. Earlier on today, she was a little suspicious whether or not I was at a revision session (as that's what I told her) Thursday night. But the thing is if she ever found out that I was still in a band, she would stop me. I don't know why but she never liked the idea in the first place. After I disobeyed my parents a few weeks ago when they first grounded me, mum has lost a lot of faith in me, and I'm making it worse just by doing this behind her back. But at the same time, she doesn't care. She doesn't seem to care about anything as much as she used to do. She bought me a dress to wear at this party tonight in an attempt to cheer me up, but she doesn't understand a thing. She doesn't even know me as much as she used to. She gave up looking after my three little brothers about eighteen months after their birth and never thanked me for taking over her role as a mother. My brothers haven't thanked me either._

_But what I really wanted to let you know, Panya, is what Danny did. I know I've told you everything about my love for Danny Jones and the situation we're in but I feel like I'm losing my love for him because of what he did. It almost makes me regret the moment I started to get to know McFly and became friends with them. I understand that it wasn't part of my plan to really get to know them. They sort of hit me like fate, but I wish none of it ever happened. I wonder what I would be doing now if I never met McFly after being dumped. If I was still sat here, sending you this email, what would I be saying to you?_

_Thursday evening went from perfect to terrible. After the gig, I sat outside to think things through. Until Danny joined me, congratulating me on such a good performance and reminding me how he much wanted to be with me. Until James came along and ruined our happiness. Danny hit James. And then my friend, Charlotte, came out to calm them down. When Danny started to follow James, James threw a large rock at Danny but it missed and hit Charlotte instead. She's okay now but had concussion. I stayed at the hospital all night long._

_I can't bring myself to forgive him for being such an idiot. I always thought Danny was better than that and that he would never be as low as James. But now I'm questioning myself if he really is worth it all._

_I remember when I wanted to be somebody. I wanted people to look at me and smile, knowing who I am for the better, not the worse. I used to absolutely loathe boy bands as all their songs are the same and I hated the idea of seeing McFly live. I lied to my friends when I didn't want them to know that I liked McFly, although I couldn't even admit it to myself. There was a tiny little voice at the back of my head, telling me that if I started being in a band, I would become somebody, but I always ignored it as I'm better off invisible. I started my band for my own sake. I thought that I should stop hiding away from life and embrace possible opportunities that'll make my life a better. I'll be moving to Brighton with my dad soon, but I still haven't told anyone. My mother doesn't even know anything._

_I just don't know what to think anymore, Panya. There are so many things I want to do but I can't bring myself to do anything. I just can't._

_Kayleigh_

* * *

Later that afternoon, I took a walk to Lisa's house were they wanted to see me. It was Angie's idea for us to meet up and go to the party together. It started at two in the afternoon but they wanted to get there by five. I didn't want to go, but mum shouted at me saying how she spent her money on me and that I was being ungrateful. I eventually gave in.

I was sat cross legged on Lisa's bed, eating hobnobs as Lisa started taking out a load of dresses from her wardrobe and asking me my opinion on what she should wear. I lazily agreed that she should go with wearing her mini black skirt and baggy purple top.

"Kayleigh." Lisa started after she took out her outfit. Angie and Lisa stood facing me. "Samantha will be coming over here around half four-ish and we will meet Charlotte at the party."

I frowned. "Why is Samantha coming with us?" I asked gruffly.

"Because she's a friend to us, Kayleigh. Besides, it _was_ Samantha who told us about the party," Then there was a pause. "My brother will be coming too and he's brining some drinks with him," I raised my eyebrows as Lisa carried on. "Josh has agreed to buy us some drinks because he said that we need to live a little and enjoy life more."

"You're planning on getting drunk tonight?" I asked.

"Just because I'm a bossy, know-it-all, it doesn't mean I don't have a rebel side."

"Does your mum approve?"

Lisa didn't answer my question.

"Kayleigh, maybe if you go out, drink and enjoy yourself, you will feel better," Angie said as she sat on the bed next to me. "Do it for us, please?"

I glanced up at Lisa, not knowing what to say.

Lisa shook her head. "I don't want you to give up on Danny again. I know he was an idiot and I hate him for hitting James, but he loves you, Kayleigh. And you know yourself that you love him too," Lisa paused for a moment. "You can't stop loving him."

The afternoon went by quickly and Samantha eventually arrived. She made a real effort to look nice as she dressed in a tight pink dress and black tights. Her hair was tied back into a neat ponytail and there were some strands of hair that hung down around her face. She smiled at me and laughed away with Lisa and Angie. Ms Levett took a photo of all together before we got into the car. Josh drove us to the community centre. I sat in the passenger seat beside Josh while Lisa, Angie and Samantha sat in the back, laughing together.

"How's Jem?" I asked Josh, ignoring the laughing in the back.

Josh sighed. "Same old, same old," He mumbled. "Still smoking in the back garden every minute or so. Still don't like him."

I looked out of the window, chewing my bottom lip. "Maybe you should at least give him a chance," I started. "I know you and Lisa both aren't too keen on him but perhaps you should at least give him a chance to settle in."

"Is that what you would do, Kayleigh?" Josh asked as we turned a corner. "If your parents spilt and your mum brought some new guy into the house. Would you make him feel welcome?"

I shrugged. "Depends on what type of guy he is." I mumbled which made Josh laugh.

"I'm leaving to study at Brighton University in September. I don't want to remember my last summer at home with Jem."

I said nothing. I felt rather sympathetic for Josh and Lisa, yet I also felt sympathetic towards Ms Levett. There's nothing worse than doing something that breaks the family apart.

We arrived at the community centre at five that evening. It was still light outside but there was a slight chill in the air. Josh parked the car in the car park and said that he'd give us our drinks later in the evening.

The hall inside was done up smartly as if it was some posh business party. There was a dance floor in the middle of the hall with a disco ball hanging from the ceiling. There was a DJ booth, but no one was in it. Soft music was playing from the speakers on the walls but it was drowned out by everyone's voices. I glanced down at my ticket, reading the message at the bottom saying that food and drinks was being served from five onwards and dancing would start around six thirty. Around the edge of the hall were tables. There were white table covers over the top and plates of party food. The hall was already crowded with people. There was a mix of people from school, elderly people and business people. I had noticed Mr Hobbs stood beside the food table talking amongst some other business men. I couldn't find anyone else I knew and I hoped that McFly, James or any of Tracie's girlfriends wouldn't be there. Lisa, Angie and Samantha and retreated to the food table. I scanned the hall in hope to find Charlotte or some familiar face. I saw Sam stood beside the food table on the other side of the hall. He caught my eye and beckoned me over. I scuttled across the dance floor to reach him. He pulled me into an embrace as he asked how I was. I replied with "Could be better." Sam smiled as I picked up a drink. We were both silent for a moment before Sam eventually asked if I had heard anything from Danny. I hadn't heard or seen him since he stormed out of the hospital Friday morning. I didn't even want to see him.

It was getting towards five thirty and more and more people came to the party. Sam and I joined Lisa, Angie and Samantha where we spent most of the party together. Charlotte eventually arrived with a broad smile on her face. No one said anything about Thursday night.

I walked over to the food table, wanting to grab myself some mini sausages. As I reached the table, I saw Dougie standing on the other side of the hall, talking to some tall guy who I hadn't seen before. Panicking, I quickly turned back to the food on the table and tried to hide myself behind some business man who was drinking champagne and gossiping with a woman.

"Kayleigh." I felt a warm hand squeeze my shoulder. I spun round to see Mr Hobbs stood beside me. I frowned a little, holding an egg and cress sandwich. "Nice to see you here." He said. There was a moment's silence. I glared at Mr Hobbs, not too sure as to why he was trying to talk to me. "You know German, don't you?" He asked out of the blue.

I hesitated for a moment. "Uhhm …"

Mr Hobbs beamed. "Good," He put his hand on my back and started pushing me across the hall. "There's someone who's been interviewing me about our school and I think you'd be the right sort of person to help make a good impression."

Confused out of my mind, I stuffed the egg and cress sandwich in my mouth, catching Dougie's eye from the corner of the hall. I looked at the other side of the hall and saw Lisa watching me. She then started to walk in the direction that Mr Hobbs was taking me, dragging Sam and Lisa with her.

I was taken towards a group of middle aged business men who were huddled together, drinking and talking business-like. Their attention turned towards me once we had arrived.

"Yes, boys, I would like to introduce you to one of my pupils, Kayleigh Slovenia. She will be taking her GCSE exams very shortly." I glanced to the side as Mr Hobbs spoke. Slightly behind the men stood, Lisa, Sam, Angie, Tom, Dougie and Harry, watching and listening to what was being said. Tom raised an eyebrow as if asking what was going on when in fact, I wasn't too sure myself.

I ran my tongue along my teeth, trying to get rid of any bits of bread that could've got caught in my teeth.

The men were judging me. They were looking at me up and down. They looked German. I could feel Mr Hobbs trembling slightly beside me. Out of all the more reliable people he could pick to make a good impression on the school, I was the unlikeliest. I could tell that Mr Hobbs was desperate to keep the school standing. He was in a lot of pressure to make it seem better than it was. My RS teacher, Mr Humble, was always judging the school, probably hoping that he would get the chance to shut it down because it was so poor.

"Yes, Kayleigh," Mr Hobbs continued. "She's one of my top students. Predicted high grades for her exams." I scowled at the ground, knowing that Mr Hobbs was lying. I glanced at Lisa through my eye lashes. Her eyebrows were raised, obviously surprised that our headmaster was lying. "She also speaks fluent German."

I nearly started choking with shock but then started to laugh. Mr Hobbs gripped hold of my wrist firmly, trying to control me. I glared at him as the men started to murmur and nod in approval with one another. From the corner of my eye, I could see my friends shuffling on the spot awkwardly.

I wanted to run away from the scene. Why Mr Hobbs had to put me on the spot like that, I didn't know. As one of the men started to say something, I looked around the hall in hope to find somewhere to hide and be invisible. I just wanted to escape.

There was a long pause of silence as I looked at one of the men who were watching me intently. Mr Hobbs started nudging me.

"Excuse me?" I managed to say.

One of the other men started to chuckle slightly as the German man repeated what he said. He spoke in German. He asked me a question in fluent German. I didn't understand a thing he said.

I looked at the man with my mouth slightly agape. I had somehow lost the ability to speak. I slowly looked at Lisa who was gesturing me to say something. Dougie was sniggering. Tom started nodding, encouraging me to do something.

I didn't know any German.

The man raised his eyebrows, obviously realising that Mr Hobbs had lied to them. Then it came to me. I suddenly remembered Dan saying something in German to me a while ago. I had no idea what it was but it was the only bit of German I could remember.

"_Ich bin teilweise taub_." I blurted out.

There was another pause of silence. My friends all turned away, holding back a laugh and Mr Hobbs groaned. Before I knew it, the men started to laugh out loud. I watched them for a moment before putting on a laugh myself as if I had cracked a joke. The men stopped laughing after a while and Mr Hobbs had to nudge me to stop me. I did so abruptly and cleared my throat.

The man patted my arm and said in a heavy German accent, "You are a very funny girl, Miss Slovenia, and I apologise for your deafness," I nearly started to choke again; my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "I've seen video clips on the school website of your band. I like it very much."

I forced myself to smile broadly. "_Merci_." I said just as the men were about to walk away. As soon as I spoke French, the man looked at me again with a raised eyebrow.

"You speak French?" He asked curiously.

I quickly shook my head. The man chuckled once more before walking away.

"I'm partially deaf." Mr Hobbs said, turning to face me as soon as the men were gone.

"Is that what I said?" I asked.

Mr Hobbs sighed heavily. "I get you to help me out, Kayleigh, and what do I get in return? A fool made out of me."

"Well, sir, I guess you've learnt your lesson not to lie to people saying that I can speak fluent German."

The party went on for what seemed like ages. When the sky turned dark and the DJ arrived, more and more people arrived. Lisa, Angie and Samantha started to dance in the middle of the dance floor with some other people around our age.

I managed to get some time to talk alone with Dougie, but nothing was said about Danny. He asked if I was okay after Thursday but I just replied with telling him that I'm moving on now that Charlotte is okay.

When it was getting closer to eleven that evening, the business people started to leave and more and more teenagers came in dancing. Josh took out the drinks from his car and bought them into the party. Lisa, Angie, Josh and I took a few shots of vodka. I felt the alcohol go to my head quite a bit and I felt unsteady on my feet as the world spun around me. I remember hearing Lisa screeching with laughter at something Harry said. Harry had his arm slung loosely around Angie's shoulder as we all had another shot.

My mind went blank for a while and I remembered staggering out of the hall and through the double doors leading to the back room. There were fancy plants, sofas and arm chair dotted around the room. I collapsed in a heap on the sofa in the middle of the room; suddenly feeling very tired and regretted agreeing with taking shots.

"Here take this, Kayleigh. It'll make you feel better."

Not knowing who was with me, I took the cup of water and digestive biscuits out of someone's hands and started to eat. The person sat down on the sofa beside me as I munched at the biscuits and gulped down the water. I suddenly started to feel cold as I slowly started to sober up a little. Not much, but just enough to bring my brain back to the moment. I looked at the person sat beside me and saw Danny, wearing his casual baggy t-shirt and jeans. He was watching me was a concerned look on his face. I scowled and looked away, wanting to stand up and go home, but knowing that if I did stand up, I would probably collapse onto the floor.

"Kayleigh." Danny started, but I lifted my hand up to stop him from speaking.

"I think you've done enough, Danny." I managed to say without slurring my words.

"You're not giving me a chance."

"What do you expect me to do, Danny?" I snapped. "I can't bring myself to forgive you for hitting James! To me, you're just as low as he is."

"I'm not going back to London, knowing that you are mad with me, Kayleigh," Danny said indifferently. "Charlotte wouldn't want you to be like this."

"Charlotte hasn't said anything about us." I grumbled. There was a moments silence before I glared at Danny. He watched me. "How do you think I'm going to be able to trust you, Danny, if you're the one to start hitting people?"

"Maybe _some_ of us are unable to control our anger, Kayleigh." Danny muttered.

I felt like I had to shout at Danny but my anger I had for him suddenly disappeared.

I leaned forward, smirking a little as I watched Danny. "Since when do _you_ have a lack of control over anger?" I asked. "Since do _you_ ever get angry?"

"When people like James threaten to rape you." Danny said sternly.

I found myself laughing a little as I leant back in the sofa. There was another pause of silence.

"You do know he's never going to do that." I said.

The tense air that was around us before had completely vanished.

"How do you know?"

I shrugged. "He'd be too scared to. Now that everyone knows what he did that night, I don't think he would want to be caught again."

Danny turned my face to look at him.

"I'm sorry," He said softly. "I mean it, Kayleigh."

I sighed and pulled away from him. "Maybe I'm just too damn complicated for anyone to love, Danny."

"I love you, Kayleigh. You _know_ that." Danny then started to laugh. "You need to stop over thinking about everything. Seriously, in reality, nothing ever happens how you imagine it to be."

"Can't I be excused for the rest of my life?" I mumbled.

There was another moments silence before Danny took my hands in his.

"Let's make a deal," He said. "If you don't fry my brain and attack me when you're angry, I won't punch your heart," I looked at Danny in bewilderment. "I mean," He carried on. "That if you stop being angry with me and don't hate me, I won't do anything that may hurt you," There was a pause. "Deal?"

"Can I trust you though?"

Danny smiled. "Do the thing that scares you."

I smiled at his comment before leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips, but just as I was about to kiss him, someone interrupted us. We pulled away from each other to see Katy and Jenny stood by the door, watching us.

"Look what the cat's dragged in: tweedle dum and tweedle dee." Danny mumbled.

"I think you both should get back to the party." Katy said firmly.

I frowned. "And what's giving _you_ the right to tell us what to do?" I hissed.

"Kayleigh, I think you've done enough damage these past weeks." Jenny snapped.

I glanced at Danny before standing up and heading towards the door. I paused for a moment, glaring at Jenny and Katy before walking back into the hall.

The rest of the party became a blur to me. There was a lot of dancing, drinking and kissing with Danny. One of my last clear memories from the party was Jess seeing me kiss Danny. Then Lisa started to throw up everywhere and Harry had to carry Angie out. There were other people my age dancing around and getting drunk.

I found myself lying on my back on the floor. I could see the faces of Danny, Tom, Dougie, Charlotte, Tracie, Jess and Craig above, looking down at me. I started laughing as I realised that I must have somehow fallen over. A woman came over looking worried and asked if I was okay.

"She's fine," Jess replied bluntly. "She's a drunken mess. Allow her to lie in her own dirt."

"I think it's best if we get her some fresh air." Tom said to Danny.

"Mum will go crazy when she see's you this drunk, Kay." Tracie said, shaking her head.

"No worries," Charlotte said. "She can stay at my house for the night if needs be."

My memory after that had vanished.


	5. Chapter 4

**Monday 21st April**

Lisa, Angie and I all sat in Mr Hobbs' office that morning feeling incredibly ill from the night before. We were sat in the three armchairs in front of Mr Hobbs' desk, waiting for him to arrive. A message was sent to us during our science lesson ordering us to go to his office immediately. We all knew that it was going to be about Sunday night at the party.

My head swayed and swerved and every so often, I thought I was going to be sick. My memory from the night before was very vague and I planned not to get _that_ drunk ever again. I had a thumping headache and I found myself staring down at my hands in my lap, wishing my hangover would pass over. Lisa and Angie were in no doubt thinking the same thing. We waited a few minutes until Mr Hobbs walked into the office. In silence. He sat in his chair opposite us. He watched us. Lisa, Angie nor I dared to lift our heads, scared to meet eye contact. Mr Hobbs breathed in and out calmly. I turned my attention to the wall clock, listening to it ticking away the minutes.

"You girls do know why I've sent you here don't you?" Mr Hobbs asked, he voice was neither angry nor disappointed but rather fed up and exasperated. I glanced at Lisa who was sat in the middle of us. We nodded, remaining silent. I could feel Mr Hobbs' eyes on me but I didn't dare to look up.

Mr Hobbs sighed. "Girls," He said softly as Angie started to groan quietly. "Perhaps the three of you would like to explain to me your actions last night and as to why you did so."

We all looked up and exchanged glances, not knowing what to say or who would speak first. Lisa, who looked like she was trying to restrain herself from throwing up there and then, took in a deep breath and eventually spoke.

"We're sorry, sir," She mumbled. "We all got a little carried away," Her voice was almost a whisper. "I don't know why we did it." It was obvious that Lisa regretted ever agreeing with her brother for taking alcohol.

"A little carried away I think is an understatement," I noticed that Mr Hobbs was only addressing Lisa and Angie rather than me. "The both of you," He carried on. "Have disappointed me greatly. Under-aged drinking is completely unacceptable! And coming from you two … I just don't know where to begin! I thought you both were mature enough to control yourselves and seeing you _that_ drunk made me question myself whether you're as squeaky clean as you first came across," I frowned at my hands. "And as for you, Kayleigh, I don't know whether I'm not surprised at your actions or just suspicious that you're leading your friends astray." I glared at Mr Hobbs, hating him more than ever for putting the blame on me. He then looked down at a notepad which was sitting on the desk just in front of him. "As I heard from many people at the party, apparently you, Angie, were lying in a heap in the girls' toilets after throwing up in the sinks …"

"It wasn't my sick," Angie managed to say. "It was Lisa who was throwing up all night."

Lisa glared Angie before looking down at her lap in shame, looking rather green.

Mr Hobbs glanced at Lisa. "Lisa, you look appalling."

"Sir, I really need to go to the toilet." She whispered but Mr Hobbs ignored her.

"The three of you have embarrassed me _and_ made the school look worse!" Mr Hobbs hissed through gritted teeth as if he was trying to stop himself from shouting. "We have the press on our tails, threatening to close this school down and you're not helping. You're year eleven students, you leave school this Thursday and you start your exams next week! Seeing how bad you girls were last night, I'm wondering if you're mature enough to start college. Mature women don't go to parties to have an overload on alcohol and make a fool of themselves in public," Mr Hobbs leaned back in his chair. "First it was starting a custard pie fight in your history lesson and now this. I'm slightly worried as to what the three of you will do next," There was a long pause. "I'm really disappointed girls. Especially in you, Lisa and Angie. Now go. I want you out of my sight."

The three of us hauled ourselves out of the chairs and staggered to the door to leave, hoping that one of us wouldn't fall over or throw up.

"Not you, Miss Slovenia. I would like to have a word with you in private."

Lisa and Angie looked at me one last time before walking out the office, closing the door behind them. Looking down at the carpet, I turned back to Mr Hobbs who stood up and approached me. The carpet was an awful colour. It was green with specs of red in it. I bit my tongue. I didn't want to throw up.

"You know, Kayleigh, I gave your father my word that I would try and make the rest of your school life easier for you. When you were ten years old, I promised him that you would be happy when you leave this school and that you would have the best grades you could possibly achieve to get you into the career you want. But all these years you've made it incredibly difficult for me. I know underneath that you are a bright, clever girl, Kayleigh. More than you think. But you just need to try more. Make the most of life and grab hold of what you've got and never let go. You just need to believe in yourself and don't give up," Mr Hobbs sighed. "Judging by how you create songs with your band, I know you can make something good out of your life if you really put your mind to it. I won't give up on you, Kayleigh, and neither will your father. And neither should you. You just need to turn your life around a little," Mr Hobbs sighed again. "I'm going to put it bluntly but you do scare people. People like to avoid you and do you know why, Kayleigh?"

I looked up at Mr Hobbs, scowling. "I don't know!" I snapped. "How am I supposed to make people like me?!"

"That's the exact reason why, Kayleigh. You believe that the world is against you all the time and people back away from you because you attack them with anger. Why do you think that Lisa and Angie became friends with you?"

"It wasn't the same. I wasn't even trying." I mumbled.

"Exactly, Kayleigh. They're your friends because they like who you are," Mr Hobbs paused as he looked at me. "Don't give up on hope, Kayleigh. You have a lot to gain in the future. I know you do."

I was lying down across the sofa later that evening, my head resting on one of the cushions. A bucket sat beside the sofa, there for when I knew I was going to be sick. Mum and dad were in the kitchen. The lounge door was open ajar. I was able to hear what they were arguing about.

Me.

How much of a mess I was. How mum couldn't trust me. How she thought that dad was a bad influence on me with his obsession with music because of my moment of wanting to be in a band. How I was messing up my future. Dad said nothing. He allowed mum to rant on. She started to scream because he wasn't replying to her. Then she said that I was back to being grounded full-time again.

There a long pause of silence before the lounge door opened, allowing the light from the hallway to seep into the dark room. Dad came in and sat on the arm of the sofa. The silence continued for a moment. I gazed at the sofa on the opposite side of the lounge, remembering only about six weeks ago, I was sat on that sofa, heart broken after James leaving me.

"Sorry." I managed to say.

I felt dad's hand stroke the side of my face. "It's not your fault, Kayleigh." He replied soothingly.

"And it's not your fault either," I curled my fingers into a clench as I stared across the room, unblinking. "I've messed up. I _know_ I have." My voice cracked.

"No, you've just been silly," Dad sighed. "But aren't we all?" Dad then slid off the arm of the sofa and crouched down on the floor so he was the same level as I was. He looked at me for a few moments.

"I'm leaving for Brighton next Wednesday."

"I'm still coming with you." I said bluntly.

Dad hesitated. "I don't think your mother would like it."

I frowned. "Surely she would. I would be one less thing off her chest."

Dad didn't reply.

"I'm coming to Brighton with you."

"You have your exams."

"They finish in the next month or so. I can get the train back to complete them."

There was another pause before dad kissed me softly on the head. "We'll see." He said before standing up to leave. He closed the door behind him, leaving the room dark. The only light that was visible was the lights from the lamps outside.

I drew my knees closer to my chest and closed my eyes tightly.

Wishing that I was invisible.


	6. Chapter 5

**Wednesday 23rd April**

Voices of other pupils buzzed around me as I walked towards the RS room for the final time. With Angie by my side, we passed through the corridors in silence. After our chat with Mr Hobbs that Monday morning, nothing else was said about the party or our mistake of thinking that getting totally drunk was a smart idea. Not even Tracie's girlfriends said a word about it. However, as Angie and I passed, everyone slowly hushed once they saw us. What happened after our last gig was still talked about. James hadn't turned up to school and I was thankful that he hadn't. I was hopeful that I would never see him before. Everyone knew that he wouldn't turn up to take his GCSE exams. No one even knew where he disappeared to and everyone thought that the reasoning to it was down to me. I tried to ignore the stares and whispers as we passed but it made me feel rather nervous and I found myself subtly tugging on the sleeve of Angie's jumper.

About six weeks before, I'd be able to walk through the school corridors, not being noticed at all by any of the other students. Six weeks later, everyone knew me. Not just because of my band but because of James. And because of McFly. My life had turned upside down and I wasn't too sure whether or not if it was for the good or the bad. I just wanted to get out. I wanted to be invisible again. I was better off that way.

We entered the classroom and took our pens and books out of our bags and set them down for the last time. Mr Humble hadn't arrived. I glanced over my left shoulder to see Sam stood behind his desk next to one of the other boys in our class. He gave me a sympathetic smile.

We all jumped as Mr Humble entered the room. I knew I had an hour with him for the last time and I was hoping that I'd get away to lunch easily. But Mr Humble had other plans. He stood at the front of the class with his hands behind his back, surveying us. He scanned the room, looking from one side to the other. He hesitated when his eyes locked onto mine before scanning the other half of the room. With a nod of the head, we sat down quietly. Mr Humble remained silent as he handed out past RS exam papers. Angie and I exchanged glances. Angie rolled her eyes, clearly not wanting to do the exam.

"And I expect the whole paper within the usual exam time," Mr Humble grumbled. "And I want _everyone_ to get full marks in this mock because otherwise I'm only a few more steps to closing this school down."

"But sir," Sam started. "Then we'll be running half an hour into lunch."

The class jumped again as Mr Humble slammed his fist down on Sam's desk and barked in his face, "Do you _want_ to get a decent grade in this exam, Mr Michaels? Do you _want_ to get out of school with grades that'll land you a proper job? Or would you prefer to _waste_ your days in a band, earning very little and end up with nothing?"

Sam narrowed his eyes as Mr Humble said that but said nothing in return. I didn't dare look up and fixed my eyes on the exam paper in front of me.

Mr Humble who hadn't moved from Sam's desk carried on. "And as for the rest of the class, I want this to be an example to you all. You don't get anywhere in life with back-chatting, rude behaviour or just plain selfishness," He pushed himself away from the table and walked to the front of the class. "You want to have a good career? Start from the bottom. You want to do well in life? Work for it. You think that you can get what you want by not doing anything? You'll fail. You think life is _easy_?" Mr Humble turned round sharply to face us. "Well I can tell you now that from this day forward, life is going to get a lot harder. You will fail in what you think you'll do well in. You will crash into obstacles on the way to what you think will be your success. You will give up. And above all, what you think you want to do in life now might be your biggest regret in life," He pursed his lips. "This is our last lesson together and this is my final term before I stop teaching at this bloody school and I bet you children will be glad to get out of school."

"Sir," Jenny, who was sat behind Angie and I called out, her voice shaking a little. "Why tell us now that we're not going to do well in the future? I mean shouldn't we just all flunk these exams and spend the rest of our lives at home with our parents and wait for a miracle to happen? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"Or," Another girl from the class began. "Is this your master plan to make us miss our exams so it can give you another excuse to shut this school down because obviously we've all done something to piss you off?"

Mr Humble said nothing. He folded his arms across his chest.

Then everyone thought that they'd get their word in.

"Mr Humble, I don't know who you think you are but after working at this school for about six weeks, you have no reason to close it down."

"Our school hasn't done anything wrong in particular."

"We're not all exactly A-grade students."

"You can't tell us how to run our lives."

"Even if I do wake up at forty and know I've done the wrong thing in life that's my problem."

"Your lack of control of the school will not affect the school or our lives alone."

"No one even asked for your word in this, Mr Humble."

"And of course life isn't going to be easy! Everything isn't always cookies and cream."

"Maybe you should just leave everything as it is and allow us to do what we want. You're only a temporary teacher anyway." Sam was the last person to speak. I looked up with my eyes to see Mr Humble watching me. I raised my eyebrows.

"Well, looks like _I'm_ not the _only_ troublemaker round here, Mr Humble." I said smirking a little. I glanced at Angie who too was smirking.

There was silence.

There was silence for a fair few seconds before Mr Humble sighed.

"You have ninety minutes on the clock to complete the paper," Nobody moved. "_Now_!" Everyone jumped and opened the paper. We had missed the first half hour of lunch and there wasn't enough time to go to the canteen and have something to eat.

What happened during the beginning of that class for whatever reason wouldn't be let go of so easily. Nor would Mr Humble ever forget it. During the practise exam, I looked up every so often to look at Mr Humble who was sat at the desk, scribbling something down on a piece of paper, his eyebrows pulled together. I had no idea as to why everyone suddenly stood against Mr Humble and from the sound of the nervous, short breaths around me; I knew that everyone was regretting every moment of it. It all seemed a blur to begin with. Mr Humble, as he said on his first week of teaching at the school, said that he was a school journalist for the local newspapers. He must've written loads of reports for schools across the country before. The more I watched him sitting at the desk, the more I started to ponder. That first day I spoke to him when I was sent out of Ms Meyers' science class, he had said that he heard a great deal about me, therefore the teachers had spoken about me to him in the staffroom. What was it about me that made them want to warn Mr Humble that I was a troublemaker? Was it because of my short temper? I'd always thought I'd get away in life being unseen but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that whatever I did was always judged by someone in some way or another. I had always been seen. Being James' unknown girlfriend, Tracie's ginger twin sister, the girl in the new school band, the one supposedly stalking McFly, the one who caused the fight between Danny and James at Katy's house party, the one who's American friend was sent to hospital because of James, the _reason_ for the monster that James had turned into.

I had to stop over-thinking everything, but at the same time I couldn't help myself. I had to get out of my own mind but a part of me realised that although I wished to be unseen and invisible, I was always seen. I was paranoid of what people thought of me. I was scared that even my friends secretly hated me and only pretended due to sympathy and that everything was some big joke which I never saw. I was never good at reading between the lines.

But why should I worry? Why should I care?

… Although I'd like to think that I didn't care. My heart screamed in my chest and my brain fizzled like crazy. I mean, would it matter to anyone if there and then I just disappeared? Or if one night I went to sleep and never woke up the next morning? Would anyone notice I'm gone? Would anyone actually miss me? Or would they only just care because I wouldn't be there? They would suddenly miss me because they regretted not making the most of my existence. And what about Jess Wells? If I disappeared would she celebrate and target Danny? Would my dad still move to Brighton? Or would it bring him back to mum again? Would McFly move back to London and make the most of their fame without me getting in the way and causing them pain?

Life would just carry on as usual.

Lisa, Sam and Angie would grow up and live their lives the way they want to.

My brothers wouldn't change.

Tracie wouldn't feel a thing.

And Danny would find someone worthwhile. Someone he truly loves. Someone who wouldn't leave him out of fear.

The world will continue its circuit around the sun every year but one day, it will just stop and so would life. My death wouldn't change a thing.

I had to get out. I had to get away from everyone and everything. I couldn't take it any longer. I looked at the exam paper, tightening my grip around my pen.

I was never scared of death. I wasn't affected when I saw someone die in films or read it in books. Death seemed like an easy way out. It would remove any pain I had. I wanted to close my eyes and never see the sunlight again.

_Go on_, a voice inside my head said. _Go on you silly cow. You've screwed up big time. You know that the reasoning for what's happened in your life is your own fault. Just end it now._

If I did commit suicide, where would I go?

Which way into death would be less painful?

A bullet to the head?

Where would I get the gun?

Slitting open my throat?

How would I do that subtly in the house?

Beachy Head?

I paused as I felt the pen snap in my firm grip. Did I really want to suddenly kill myself as a punishment for messing everything up so badly? Yes.

No.

I stood up.

Everyone stopped writing and looked at me. I felt sweat on my forehead and my breaths were unsteady. I heard Sam say my name in a warning as Angie tugged on my hand. I looked at Mr Humble who was looking at me over his reading glasses. I thought he would burst with anger but his face seemed somewhat calm. In one smooth motion, he took off his reading glasses, placed them on the deck and stood up, adjusting the bottom of his woollen jumper.

"Have something to say, Miss Slovenia?" He asked calmly. No expression of anger crossed his face. I clenched my hands, feeling the sweat in my palms.

"If … if let's say one of your students disappeared, what would you do?" I asked. There were a few mutters from the class but I relied on Mr Humble's response.

"What are you on about?"

"Did I stutter?" I asked. "I want to know what _you_ would do if one of us disappeared and the press asked you."

"How do you mean?"

"I think she means if one of us died." It was almost as if Sam had read my mind.

"Have you ever lost your mind and wondered why you even bother? Have you ever woken up in the morning knowing that you can't go through the day yet you force yourself to and it kills you to do so? When you know you've really messed up and that you can only take the blame for everything that's happened," I paused and shook my head. "All those silly little rumours may die down after a while but it can be engraved in someone's memory for the rest of their life. Not only have you messed up, you see your family slipping away from you, knowing that no one cares and all you can do is just watch everything fade away."

"Kayleigh, I would like you to sit down please." Mr Humble warned.

"And tomorrow is our last day at this school and I can't tell you how much I look forward to getting away from here and away from everyone. And you know what, Mr Humble, you can go write in the newspapers about us. Tell them that we're a bad school because we've been taught about the freedom of speech and that our teachers don't have the ability to even control us. Because fuck you that's why!"

And with that, I kicked my desk before storming out the classroom, leaving everyone speechless. As the door closed behind me, I fell back against the wall and closed my eyes shut.

I felt entirely empty.

I had to get away from school. The corridor before me was empty and I pelted down it. If anyone heard me, they wouldn't have time to catch up. I ran faster than I ever had done before. I ran out the building, out the front gates and down the road. I arrived at the nearest bus stop just as the bus arrived. I jumped on and paid for a ticket to Beachy Head.

The journey felt like a lifetime as I watched Eastbourne pass by outside. Opposite me sat a man, who I guessed was an elderly man, who hid his face behind an open newspaper, but I had a bad feeling that I was being watched. I wanted the bus ride to hurry up as my desperation for Beachy Head increased.

I wondered what my RS class did after I left. Did Mr Humble throw a hairy tantrum and kicked the class out? Did they look for me? Did he go to tell Mr Hobbs? Or did they just carry on with the test paper? I was thankful that my mobile phone was back at home, hidden in one of the drawers in mum's bedroom. I had no way of contacting Angie.

I stepped off the bus and looked at the grass landscape in front of me. The bus had dropped me off outside the Beachy Head Hotel.

I watched an elderly couple cross the road together as the wind blew vigorously. Looking ahead of me, I took in a deep breath and started to walk down the path towards the cliff's edge. The path was long. Very long. The wind bit at my cheeks and I pulled my blazer round my chest. The closer I got towards the end, the harder the wind blew. I stopped at the end of the pathway and admired the view of the horizon before me. There were very little people about and I guessed that early afternoon on a Wednesday, many people would be at work.

I listened intently to the waves down below. My knees trembled and I quickly sat down on the ground. I sat on the edge of the cliff, my legs dangling off the side. I opened my school bag, rifled through and pulled out a pen and some paper. I started to write. I started to write a note to my family about what I was going to do and why I would. I told them about my regrets and that I've known that the depression has been building up inside me over the years and that I never took notice. My tears fell onto the paper, smudging some of the ink. I wiped my face as I signed the paper. On the other side, I wrote down the address to my house and hoped that if I left my bag on the grass, someone would find it and send it to my parents.

Wind blowing harder and tears rolling down my cheeks, I hauled myself back up on my feet and looked out at the sea.

Eyes closed.

One. Deep. Breath.

One step forward and I'll be gone.

Death was only seconds away.

Did I really want to do this?

Kill myself because of everything?

I put my body weight on my heels and thought about my actions for the last time. I could turn back and go home. I could carry on with my exams. But what was I going to do after school? I didn't know if I could bring myself to live another day. No one would mind that I'm gone. It'll be all over within seconds. I could do it.

Deep breath and step.

"Do you think that death is the solution to everything?"

I held my breath. The northern accent ringing in my ears.

"How did you know I was here, Danny?" I managed to say, my eyes still closed tightly.

"The man hiding behind the newspaper."

I slowly opened my eyes and noticed how big the drop was below me. I suddenly felt dizzy and stumbled backwards. Danny caught me and pulled me to the ground and I burst into uncontrollable tears. I shook vigorously and Danny pulled me into him. He wrapped his arms securely round me as I buried my face into his chest, letting out loud sobs. The wind still blew hard around us but the warmth from Danny's body warmed me up.

"I can't take this anymore." I managed to say through my sobs but Danny didn't reply. He rocked me back and forth, stroking my arm and kissing me on the top of my head.

"Do you remember a time when we were so alive?" Danny asked as my sobs started to quieten down to slow, silent tears.

"Could you remind me?" I croaked.

Danny paused. "Eastbourne's Lido," I paused for a couple of seconds. "Our first kiss." He hugged me tighter. "I can't lose you, Kayleigh, and I refuse to let you commit suicide because these bloody past few weeks," I looked up at Danny. "You're not going anywhere. You're sitting your exams and will stay with your band," Danny then frowned a little. "Kayleigh, what were you even _thinking_?! Do you think your parents would be okay to find out that their daughter jumped off Beachy Head?"

"I did wonder about them." I muttered.

"Everyone is going to suffer if you jumped, Kayleigh," Danny lifted my head just as I looked down. "I wouldn't want to go back to London if you did and I'm just damn well thankful Angie texted Harry about your RS lesson. I guess that getting on the same bus as you was pure luck."

I stiffened up. "There's no such luck." I mumbled. Danny pulled me closer to him.

"Don't go." He whispered.

"I just feel empty. I can't see the point of going on further."

"I won't let go of you. I promise." Danny said, not responding to my words. He then lowered his voice to a whisper. "We go back to London this Sunday."

A tear rolled down my cheek. We stayed silent as we curled up together on the grass on Beachy Head. Time passed and neither of us knew how long we stayed there. But somehow, just being in Danny's arms, knowing that he _did_ love me and that killing myself would affect him, I felt somewhat safe. It was like his arms were a barrier to my life and his heart was a barrier to my inner thoughts. Why hadn't I thought of it before? Danny loves me. I love Danny. Committing suicide would pull us apart from each other forever. I could at least hold on for a little longer till he moved back to London that weekend. As long as I with Danny, I felt safe.


	7. Chapter 6

**Thursday 24th April**

"Kayleigh, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Liam."

"Are you sure?"

"This is my last day ever at school and I look forward to the moment Mr Hobbs lets us go." I sighed and closed my eyes. I was stood by the counter with my bag sitting on top. Lovely Little Liam was standing on the other side. I managed to steal the last bottle of Sunny D to drink on the way to Angie's house before mum came down to catch me. It was the last early morning on my last day of school. We only attended the first two lessons and after the first break the school would go to a farewell assembly by Mr Hobbs, followed by an extended lunch as the year eleven students leave and hang around at the pier like we did every Thursday before I was grounded. I was thankful that I had music first period and as a band, we could talk to Mr Smallcombe and thank him for the help the past weeks. "Sorry," I muttered to Liam. "You'll realise that when you are close to finishing school how scary life can be." Liam smiled broadly as I ruffled his hair, smiling broadly back.

I was trying my hardest to eject the memory from the day before out of my head. I didn't want to think that way again. I wanted to stay with my band. I wanted to tour the world, selling records and performing to screaming crowds who paid to see my band live. I wanted to be with McFly forever because I knew that they were the ones who kept me sane. I watched Liam as he swung his rucksack onto his shoulder and left the house with Headband Dan and Screaming Lord Thomas.

The conservatory door opened and Tracie walked into the kitchen, followed by Dakota. Claws scratching against the tiled floor, Dakota ran towards me, barking and jumping, his tail wagging vigorously. I bent down and scratched Dakota behind the ears. He panted heavily and licked my face.

"Kayleigh," Tracie called. "Kayleigh." She repeated harshly as I ignored her the first time. I hesitated for a moment, looking at Dakota before standing up to face Tracie who stood on the other side of the counter where Liam stood before. "Do you have any ideas as to what you want to do for our birthday?" She asked.

I paused for a moment, frowning. It was our sixteenth birthday the following week and I didn't have any idea as to what I wanted to do. I wanted a party but mum never liked the idea. It never was a good idea.

I said nothing.

"I was talking to mum," Tracie continued. "And she said that we need to decide on something by the end of today," She then sighed. "Kay, its next week. We're turning sixteen and we have nothing planned."

I looked at Tracie. "What do _you_ want to do?" I asked.

Tracie blinked a couple of times. "I wanted to go to out with my girlfriends."

"Well I wanted a party."

"Settled then?"

I looked at Tracie. Tracie looked at me. "Deal." I grumbled before swinging my bag over my shoulder and walked out the front door.

It was a hot day and the sun was beating down on my face as I walked along the streets of Eastbourne towards Angie's house. I took the bottle of Sunny D out of my bag and started to drink. I met Angie at the end of her road and we walked to school together for the last time. Angie questioned nothing about the RS lesson the day before and only asked how I felt about our last day. In actual fact, I didn't know how I felt. I just wanted the day to end.

Once we reached school, we walked through the busy open field, dodging all the other pupils. We met Lisa who, as usual would be leaning against our tree in the football field. Only this time she wasn't leaning. She was stood underneath it, picking up twigs and branches from the ground beneath her and chucking it across the field. Angie and I exchanged glances, both of us knowing that something or some_one_ had bothered her. I let out a loud sigh as we approached her. Neither of us said anything. There was a moments silence before Angie nudged me.

"Lisa?" I called softly, eyeing her every movement.

"Yeah?" Lisa replied, exasperated as she bent down to pick up another twig.

"Anything the matter?"

Lisa looked at me and narrowed her eyes. "What do you _think_, Kayleigh?" She hissed. "We're performing at McFly's concert this Saturday on the bandstand and we haven't even had one discussion about it. Nor have we had any rehearsal since our last gig. And I suppose no one has even thought about this gig since Charlotte went into bloody hospital!" Lisa chucked the stick across the field as if she was taking out her anger on stick throwing. She then turned to me. "Do you remember that, Kayleigh?" She said her voice low. "When Danny asked you to perform with them at their last gig before they go back to London? Yeah, it's this Saturday," There was a pause. "I thought that this is something we would spend hours on end preparing for. Do you even take this seriously?"

"Of course I take our band seriously, Lisa!" I snapped. "It was my idea in the first place."

"Well what are we going to do then?"

"I'll think of something." I mumbled.

"Like what?"

"I don't know! Write a new song maybe?"

Lisa sighed. "Seeing as it's a McFly gig, you do know that the press will be there," Another pause. "It's a great time for us to shine. To show the press that we have potential. For all you know, some record label could be there."

"Well then we have the next two days to work it out," Angie said. "We could talk to Mr Smallcombe in our music lesson."

Mr Smallcombe sat on the edge of his desk in the music studio as Lisa, Angie, Sam and I told him about Saturday night. We threw questions at him in a panic. Mr Smallcombe remained silent until we finished.

"How many songs do they want you to perform?" He asked.

We all exchanged glances, not knowing the answer. Danny didn't actually say how many songs he wanted us to perform. Would it just be one? Or the ones we had? I glanced around the room wanting to see something that'll give me an epiphany. I wanted to write a new song. A new song that'll really show off our band. But I couldn't think of anything.

Mr Smallcombe let out a loud sigh. "Shall we rehearse together for the last time?" And with that, we picked up the spare instruments and did our final rehearsal with Mr Smallcombe. By the end of the lesson, we thanked him for the help he gave us for the past weeks and he promised us that he would watch us Saturday night. We then settled on the idea of booking a venue the following Tuesday afternoon to do another gig. Mr Smallcombe wanted to help us.

For the last break, Sam, Lisa, Angie and I sat at the same table we always did in the canteen. We were quiet at first. I looked down at the salt and pepper pots on the table. Sam had his arm round Lisa's waist and Angie was people-watching. None of us seemed to want to say anything. As the bell rang for the end of break, everyone went to sit in the hall. Like the weekly Monday assembly's we had, all the teachers sat in chairs on the opposite side of the hall, facing us. Mr Hobbs stood in the middle and started the speech once everyone had arrived. He spoke about our years at the school: starting from primary right through to our final year. After the speech, there was a slideshow of different photos of our year. There were some from class time, some from school discos when we were young, school trips, camp and sports activities. I was thankful that I wasn't in very many photos. I heard Tracie and her girlfriends laughing and cooing at photos of them and their friends. Then towards the end of the slideshow, there was a photo of my band performing at the music concert. Lisa squealed with delight. I kept my head down.

The next hour of the speech was where I would stay sitting on the floor where everyone stood up to collect their award for some competition when their name was called out. Lisa went up to collect her award for the Original Writing competition for the third time. Angie went up to collect a badge and certificate for some volunteering. It felt like nearly every student went up to collect and award. Miss Sharpe held onto the final award.

"Now I know that we've never won a hockey tournament but I would like to take time out to thank our team captain for the past five years who has always been there from day one and has notably been the best hockey player the school has ever had. So the award for an Outstanding Performance in Spot goes to Kayleigh Slovenia."

An applaud erupted around the hall and echoed in my mind. My ears rang. My mind went blank as I glared at Mr Hobbs who was clapping. I felt as if I had lost feeling in my feet and couldn't stand up. Did she really say my name or had I just imagined it? For all I knew she could've meant someone else but all eyes were on me and Lisa was nudging me in the ribs telling me to stand up. I looked at Lisa who was clapping and gesturing me to collect my award. I somehow scrambled to my feet. I flattened my school skirt down and stepped through the crowd of pupils, standing on feet and kicking shoulders. I was lucking I didn't fall over as I tried to get out. Or on the walk to the front of the hall. I shook hands with Mr Hobbs.

"What are you doing?" I muttered to him as the applause continued.

"Just take the award and sit back down. You deserve it." Mr Hobbs replied as he let go of my hand. I turned to Miss Sharpe who handed me my award. She nodded and I nodded back before returning to my seat.

At the end of the assembly, Mr Hobbs said his final goodbye and wished us the best of luck with our exams and our future. As everyone started to applaud, Mr Hobbs looked at me and nodded. I looked down at my trophy. The trophy was silver. Sitting on the black plaque with my name graved in was a silver star. I glared at my own reflection. All the lower years went out to the playing fields for an extended lunch and my year stayed for another five minutes, saying farewell to the teachers before leaving the school for good. Everyone was cheering. Papers were thrown into the air. People hugged and kissed each other. They then headed down to the pier. Ignoring that fact that I was grounded, I went to the pier with Lisa, Sam and Angie. We walked along the streets, a fair few feet behind the rest of the year. We wanted to avoid them as much as possible so we could just have a good time together. Once we arrived, we bought a corn dog and a portion of chips to share and sat down on a bench facing the sea. The sun was still high in the sky and the wind blew. I watched the waves gently hit the shore. The stony beach was filled with people.

"What next?" Sam asked after a while.

We all turned to look at him.

"How do you mean?" Lisa asked as she reached for a chip.

"I mean: what _next_? Like what are we all going to do now?" _Move to Brighton_. "Once all of our exams are finished, what does everyone plan to do?" _Move to Brighton_. "Will we stay as a band?"

We all fell silent. I knew that as soon as I moved to Brighton with my father; we would have to split as a band. But I couldn't say anything.

"I'm sure we'd stay as a band," Angie said a little hesitatively. "If Saturday night goes really well and we do get signed, then we'll have to stay."

Neither of us responded. The thought of some record company signing our band on Saturday night was a little too much to think about because we knew that it wouldn't happen. Although, the press would be there waiting to make a review on McFly's performance.

The day went on and the four of us started to talk about our memories at school. Sam reminded me that day I became friends with him in year five and how we've been close since. Lisa and I went through our childhood memories together when we were in primary school and when we first met Angie. We remembered all the good times we had together as friends and then somehow the conversation came to the present day and then to McFly and then the fight at Katy's party.

That was when we saw him. Stood on the other side of the pier having a deep conversation with Jordan, Craig and Chris. James Daniels. The four of us stayed silent as we watched him. People from school also watched him and exchanged a few words with their friends.

"And I was hoping that we'd never see him again." Lisa said indifferently but none of us replied.

The afternoon went by and as the evening came, everyone started to slowly go home. Angie went home early and I waited for Lisa and Sam who quickly popped to the toilets. I rested my forearms on the cold rail as the wind started to blow harder. I watched the waves lap over one another and then thought about all the sea creatures swimming underneath me. The day started to get darker and darker as the clouds above me covered the clear sky. The street lights flickered on. It was getting close to six o'clock that evening and I knew that mum would hate me even more.

"Fancy seeing you here." His voice echoed through my ears and sent a shiver down my spine.

"Stay away from me." I hissed through gritted teeth but James only laughed dryly. I narrowed my eyes at him as he casually leaned against the rail. I took a step back. "I hear rumours that Chloe ditched you."

"I ditched her."

"Don't lie to me. You've done enough of that."

James pursed his lips and let out a sigh. There was a pause of silence and the both of us looked at one another.

"How's your American friend?" He asked, not breaking eye contact. I didn't reply. "Is she out of hospital or did I screw her up _that_ much?"

"She's nowhere near you for sure." I turned and look down at the waves. I closed my eyes. "James, what are you doing?"

"Talking to my ex-girlfriend."

I paused. "No," I continued. "Do you even realise how much you've messed everything up?"

"And what do you expect me to do about it?"

I kept my gaze on the rough waves. The wind continued to blow and so did our silence. I wanted him to leave. I never wanted to see James ever again.

I felt his cold hand rest on top of mine but I snatched it away quickly.

"Baby what's the matter?" The tone of James' voice reminded me of the way he used to speak to me when we were dating.

"I said stay away from me!" I screamed and I pushed him by the shoulders. James only stumbled back a little with a smirk on his face. I could feel my anger rising within me. Just seeing James again angered me. James started to laugh.

"Oh yeah I remember now. You're shagging Danny from McFly, aren't you?"

I said nothing.

"Whore."

That was then I lost it and allowed my anger to take over. I grabbed hold of James' shirt and shoved him against the wall. I screamed at him as I thumped him over and over again on the chest. "I never should have dated you!" I yelled, followed by more thumps and kicks.

I then felt his weight on top of me. James had pushed me to the ground and he was on top. There was a pause before he planted his lips on mine, kissing me harshly. I tried to scream out for help as his hands went down my front but it was only muffled sounds. I thumped on his shoulders and back but it did no use.

James stopped kissing me for a moment but covered my mouth with his hand to stop me from screaming.

"You silly cow," He murmured. "Danny Jones wouldn't like you anymore knowing how much of a slut you are." I pushed his hand away, prepared to push him off and to run away but he planted his lips onto mine again before I even got the chance. Inside I was screaming for help but no one was able to hear me. James' weight crushed my rips as his hand slid up my school skirt. I dug my nails into his skin but he didn't flinch. I started to cry with frustration as I tried to wriggle away from James but it was no use.

"Kayleigh?"

It all happened all too quickly. Before I knew it, James was thrown off me and I was hauled to my feet. Lisa wrapped her arms around me as Sam threw punches at James.

"Get me away from here!" I shouted at Angie and we both ran.

"Kay, are you okay?" Lisa asked as we reached the main road.

"I'm fine," I managed to say, a little shaken up. "It wasn't anything too serious."

"Kayleigh, he tried to rape you!"

"Just like he said he would last Friday!"

Lisa looked at me and I looked at her. I needed to get back home.

"He's sick!" I spluttered.

"Glad you finally noticed," Lisa said indifferently. "I never liked him when you were dating him." I glared at her and then we started to walk back to my house.

Mum had lost it when I walked through the door. I stood in the kitchen, leaning against one of the counters, drinking the rest of the Sunny D as her words flew over my head. Mum paced up and down the kitchen, screaming and yelling at me, calling me disrespectful and saying how she could no longer trust me.

"Mum," I managed to say. "James tried to rape me!"

Mum snorted. "Don't you _dare_ make up stories like that young lady? You don't even know how serious rape is …" I rolled my eyes as ignored what she said after. Mum then snatched the bottle of Sunny D out of my hands and ordered me to go to my room, forbidding me to leave the house unless she's with me. Her eyed were filled with tears of frustration. Without any hesitation I did as I was told, knowing I deserved what I got.


	8. Chapter 7

**Friday 25th April**

Tracie left the house to meet up with her girlfriends and my brothers were still at school, leaving me alone in the house with mum. I wanted to walk out the front door and visit dad. I wanted to avoid mum as much as possible because I knew that she was angry with me. It was my own fault. I triggered her anger even further by ignoring my grounded rules. It was my fault that James tried to rape me. If I stuck to my morals and went home straight after school, I wouldn't be in that mess. And I would feel safer leaving the house.

I sat on my bed, hugging my knees to my chest with my bed covers draped over my shoulders. I had my GCSE Music text book open in front of me. If I was going to be stuck at home for the majority of the time, I thought that revising as much as I could would be the best option. However everything I read went right over my head. I was incapable of absorbing anything. I found myself thinking about Danny. I hadn't seen him since Wednesday that week. I started to ponder if he had said anything to Tom, Dougie or Harry about my attempt at suicide. I then wondered if Lisa, Sam or Angie knew about it and thought not to tell me anything because they were scared.

I screwed my eyes shut tightly and shook my head.

The sound of mum's footsteps echoed through the kitchen. I could hear her pacing up and down, opening and closing the back door to the conservatory and then into the lounge whenever her steps were muffled.

Letting out a loud sigh, I scrambled off my bed and snuck into mum's bedroom. The door squeaked as it swung open. Mum remained in the lounge. Trying to avoid the squeaky floorboards, I crept across the room to dad's old dresser. I pulled out the top drawer and took out my mobile phone which was hiding under some remaining t-shirts he left behind before he left. Then sneaking back into my bedroom, I closed the door behind me and dialled Danny's number. He answered on the third ring.

"Kayleigh?"

"Danny?"

"You alright?"

"Yeah," I pursed my lips. "Sorry I just wanted to hear your voice."

There was a pause before Danny drew in a breath. "Kay, Lisa told me what happened last night…"

"And I'm fine," I managed to say, cutting across him. "James didn't do anything too rational to me. I've just lost all of mum's faith." I then paused, biting my lip. Knowing that I had just lied to Danny, I knew that I wasn't okay. I was partly terrified about leaving the house. I was scared that I'd catch James alone in the streets. And I felt somewhat scared that people from school knew. I tried to brush that idea off, knowing that I wouldn't be seeing half the people from school ever again. "I want you to be with me, Danny. _Now_." I mumbled through the phone. I just wanted to feel safe and secure.

"Are you home alone?" He asked.

"No," I replied. "Mum is downstairs but I can't see her wanting to come up to talk to me. She just wants me to remain in my bedroom without a word."

There was another pause. Danny knew how much trouble I was in with my mum and he didn't want to be responsible for putting me into further trouble, but I needed Danny. I hadn't seen him since Wednesday and I just wanted to touch him again. I wanted to feel his arms wrapped securely round me.

"I'll be there in five." Danny whispered before ending the call.

Sneaking back into mum's bedroom, I put my phone back into its original place and went back into my room. Mum was still in the lounge.

I tided up the bedroom a little, putting my GCSE revision notes under my bed and hiding Headband Dan's and Screaming Lord Thomas' dirty socks that had been left in a heap on the floor for over a week.

Within five minutes, there was a light tapping at my bedroom window. Closing the door, I ran to the window and pulled up the blinds. Stood on the roof of the garage was Danny, a huge grin spread across his face. In his hands was a box of Celebrations. I felt a rush of joy and excitement run through my spine as I pulled open the window.

"How did you manage to get up here?" I asked, my voice low, yet I was unable to hide my happiness.

"In ways you could never imagine." Danny said loudly as he winked.

I shushed him and giggled. I took him by the hand and helped him through my bedroom window. Once he was in, I closed the window and turned to face him.

Danny looked beautiful as ever. His straight brown hair fell over his eyes. He slacked in his loose jeans and a logoed t-shirt but I still loved every inch of him. Before I could contain myself any longer, I slid my arms round his neck and started kissing him softly on lips. Danny's hands found my waist as he pulled me close to him, our bodies touching.

I felt Danny smile as he pulled away to whisper "I've missed this" before returning the kiss. We stayed that way for a while, our bodies pressed against each other. Eventually, Danny gently guided me to my bed, laying me down beneath him. He kissed my jawline and my neck, lightly sucking and biting at the skin under my ear. I let out a breathy moan before I remembered that mum was still in the house.

"Danny." I started.

"Mmhmm." Danny replied, distracted as he kissed down my stomach. I watched him as he started to fumble with the belt of my jeans.

"Danny we can't do this when my mum is only downstairs!" I giggled as I sat up, lifting his chin. Danny pouted his bottom lip as he looked into my eyes. I kissed him on the forehead.

"Well there's nothing wrong with a little foreplay eh?" Danny said as he pushed me back down. I giggled as he was on top of me again, kissing my chest, up my neck and meeting my lips.

As soon as I heard footsteps outside my bedroom door, I pushed Danny off me, covering his mouth with my hand. The footsteps circled the hallway and then back down the stairs. I kept my focus on the door as Danny pulled away from my hand, sighing.

I locked my eyes onto his before we both calmed down. We curled up next to each other on my single bed, our legs entwined with each other's. The box of Celebrations was open and every so often, Danny would feed me a chocolate. We were silent for the majority of the time. I had my head against his chest, listening to his slow breathing and his heartbeat. Danny's warm hands ran up and down my back, his soft fingertips gingerly outlining circles.

Shuffling a little, I started to ask Danny about Saturday night. My band had a day to prepare ourselves to perform at McFly's gig.

"Write another song." Danny suggested.

I sighed. I had tried to come up with a new song to write but nothing had really inspired me. Sam, Lisa nor Angie had even offered to help me.

It was four in the afternoon and I heard the front door swing open. My brothers had come home from school. Scrambling off the bed, I tried to push Danny back to the window. He was very reluctant to leave and I was reluctant to let him go but I couldn't let anyone know that he was in the house. Danny kissed me once more lightly on the forehead until the bedroom door banged open and in came Dan with … another girl.

The four of us: Danny, Dan, some other girl and I froze.

"_Shit_." I cursed under my breath.

"Shit!" Dan snapped, slamming the door behind him. "Kayleigh _promise_ me that you won't tell mum about this." Dan pleaded.

I frowned. "Who the hell is _she_?" I snapped, pointing at the girl standing behind Dan. She was a tanned girl with long brown hair. She looked a little older that Dan.

"Rhiannon," The girl spoke in irritation. "Dan's _girlfriend_."

I paused and turned to look at Danny before back to Dan and Rhiannon. "Okay," I started, the corners of my lips curling upwards into a smile. "I promise I won't tell mum about your girlfriend if you keep your trap shut about Danny being here."

"And what _have_ you two been getting up to?" Dan asked, smirking as he pointedly glanced at my rumpled duvet.

"Just don't tell mum, please Dan" I groaned.

"Can I have the bedroom then?" Dan asked smugly.

I looked at him in disbelief. "Dan you're underage for goodness sake! Besides, I'm grounded and not allowed to leave the room."

"What's stopping you? You've snuck out the house enough times."

Danny sniggered but stopped abruptly as I shot daggers at him.


	9. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Apologies for being so rubbish at constantly updating this one. I've been uber busy recently but I'm going to try my hardest to finish this for you, I promise ^-^**_

* * *

**Saturday 26th April**

I woke up that morning, imagining myself with Danny under the covers. I reached across, wishing I was able to feel his soft, warm, bare skin but all my fingers could find were my empty bed sheets. I then woke up with a start, realising that it was the day that _Broken Wings_ were going to play live in front of hundreds at McFly's gig. And we didn't have a song to sing. We hadn't had any rehearsals in preparation. Nor did I have a clue how I would be able to sneak out the house with my guitar later that evening. Tracie and her girlfriends were attending.

I sat upright and looked around my bedroom. My three brothers were all still in bed, sound asleep. Tracie was not.

I heard voices downstairs and one of them I had recognised as dads. I quickly jumped out of bed and headed for the hallway. Mum and dad were down in the kitchen, discussing loudly. It wasn't an argument as such but a disagreement.

Tracie, who was in her baby pink, fluffy dressing gown was sitting at the top of the stairs, listening to our parent's heated discussion. I, who wasn't in a dressing gown, shivered as I slowly approached Tracie, careful not to step on any of the squeaky floorboards. As Tracie looked up, she beckoned me over. I shuffled and sat on the top step with her. She placed an arm round my shoulders as she rubbed my arm in an attempt to warm me up. We stayed silent as we listened closely.

"No, David, she's grounded." Mum hissed.

I felt a large rock fall in the pit of my stomach. Of course, their disagreement was about me.

Dad however spoke calmly. It was nice to hear dad's voice again. "I just want to see her, Zoe. Is it too much to ask to see my own daughter again?"

"I'm not sure I want to let you," Mum replied stubbornly. "Why are you here, David? I want you out."

"I spoke to your brother, Robbie, earlier this morning and he told me everything you've told him about Kayleigh. Yes I know she's disobeyed our grounded orders but I just need to talk to her."

Mum let out a loud sigh. "Fine," Her voice cracked. "Go talk to her." It sounded like mum was going to cry. Tracie's grip on my arm tightened and I didn't know if it was for anger or sympathy.

There was a pause.

"Kayleigh!" Mum shouted, obviously expecting me to hear her through the flooring. I then heard mum's slippers scuff across the floorboards. "Kay-oh!" Mum stood at the bottom of the staircase looking up at us. "What are you two doing there?" I remained silent, allowing Tracie to speak.

"We were going to come down for breakfast." Tracie said in a timid voice. Dad stood behind mum and smiled up at as. Tracie stood up, ran down the stairs and jumped into his arms. Dad laughed as he lifted her off her feet and spun her round.

"And how's my girl?" He asked with happiness. I looked at mum who was watching me with glazed eyes.

"I'm sorry." I mouthed to her. Mum nodded, understanding me before turning away from the stairs. I paused a moment before cautiously walking down the stairs, my hands gripping onto the banister. Dad's face immediately lit up as he saw me, pulling me into a tight embrace.

After I had a shower and changed out of my pyjamas, I sat in the conservatory with dad. We sat in the wooden chairs, watching the rain fall onto the glass windows. I had made us both mugs of hot coffee, prepared to listen to what he wanted to tell me. Dad was silent for a moment as he clasped the hot mug in his hands. I watched his every move as I started to drink the coffee.

"The thing is, Kayleigh," Dad started. "Your mother and I are no longer in love with each other," He paused as if he wanted me to say something but I said nothing. "I've found a little place in Brighton and as of next week, I'll be staying there, renting the place."

"Are you divorcing mum?" I asked sternly before drinking more coffee.

Dad hesitated. I hoped that they weren't. I wanted to scream out and make them fall in love again. I wanted our family to be just how it used to be when we were all happy. When there were no arguments and we all loved each other.

"I don't know. Your mother and I haven't really spoken about having an actual divorce yet. Right now, we just need a break from each other but because I'm no longer in love with her, I don't think I can hold our marriage together any longer."

"What day will you be moving to Brighton?"

Dad shifted in his seat. "Wednesday," He said, looking down at his mug of coffee. "The apartment I've opened is rather spacious. It has two bedrooms. A master bedroom and a spare one for whenever you want to come down…"

"I've moving with you on Wednesday, dad." I said.

"You have exams to pass, Kayleigh."

"I don't care."

"I do," Dad took a sip out of his coffee as I pursed my lips. "Perhaps once your exams are over you can come to stay with me," Dad paused once again. "You'll have to speak to your mother first. I don't think she would want you to move out to live with me."

"I don't care," I repeated. "I want to live with you, dad."

Dad placed a light hand on my knee.

"I'll pack all my things and move with you on Wednesday. I'll promise I'll revise as much as I can and I'll pay for all my train fairs when I come back to Eastbourne to do my exam. I'll come here every weekend to visit mum. I just want to stay with you, dad!"

Dad smiled after taking a large gulp of his coffee. "I look forward to it, Kayleigh." He said as he wrapped his arm securely round my shoulders and pulled me close. I never wanted to lose my father.

"How are you and Danny?" Dad asked as he pulled away from me.

I felt myself blush at the thought of Danny. I smiled to myself, feeling rather embarrassed to say anything. "Dad, I think I'm in love."

Dad looked rather shocked as I giggled. "Really? But Kayleigh, you're only fifteen!"

"Nearly sixteen actually." I pointed out which made dad laugh.

"I want to meet Danny, properly," Dad said. "And this time I won't lose my rag and pull you both apart."

I chewed on the inside of my check, remembering the memory when Danny had kissed me outside my house and dad came storming out to pull us apart. "Well," I began. "My band is performing at McFly's gig tonight. You're more than welcome to watch and then perhaps after the show I'll introduce you to Danny."

Dad smiled. "I'm so proud of you." He whispered as he kissed me on the forehead. "Does your mother know anything about it?"

I shook my head no. "I don't exactly have a plan on how I'm going to find a way to leave the house when I'm still grounded."

Dad said nothing.

The morning turned into the afternoon and dad left the house by lunchtime. Tracie had gone out to meet with her boyfriend, Paul Carr and my three brothers went to the local park to play football with their friends, leaving me home alone with mum again.

I paced up and down my bedroom, thinking of multiple ideas on how I was going to sneak out the house that evening in time for the gig. The gig was at the bandstand and I had to get there early for a sound check.

On my bed lay a sheet of paper with music notes and lyrics scribbled all over. As soon as dad had left the house, I managed to write a song called _Shadows in the Night_ which I hoped we would perform that night. I snuck back into mum's room to grab my phone and called Lisa, Angie and Sam to inform them about my song. They planned to get to my house later in the day to have a quick rehearsal.

Mum knocked on my bedroom door and walked in before I gave her permission to. She looked rather fed up. Her platinum blonde hair was pulled back into a tight, high ponytail which fell down her back.

"I'm going to visit your Uncle Robbie for dinner. I need to give him some vegetables as you won't be doing so tomorrow morning," She paused as she stood watching me. "You'll be okay alone, won't you, Kayleigh?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes. "I'll be fine, mum. What time are you coming home?"

"I don't know, Kayleigh. Just later this evening." And with that, she closed the door behind her. I stayed motionless on the spot until I heard the front door close.

It was as if luck had fallen my way.

I quickly picked up my guitar and started to strum away at the chords of my new song and sang the lyrics out loud. I had text messages from my band, thanking me a billion times over for writing another song.

As the hours passed, it was getting close to three in the afternoon. I opened my wardrobe and started to pick an outfit. I wanted to wear something that would make a statement of whom I was and who I wanted to be. Yet as soon as I opened the wardrobe, I heard familiar voices downstairs. Voices that didn't belong to anyone in my family.

I crept to my bedroom door, putting my ear close to it, trying to work out who it was.

"Tracie is the most stupid bitch I've ever met," The female voice was coming from the kitchen. "Yet she was right about lending me her house keys. I'd make some use from it."

Then there was laughter and I suddenly recognised who it was.

Jess Wells. Chloe Bell. Jenny Freewood. Katy Thompson.

I couldn't believe it. Tracie was idiotic enough to have trusted her 'girlfriends' by giving them the house key and they have somehow stabbed her in the back. I knew that no matter what I told Tracie about what they said about her, she wouldn't believe a word.

I started to ponder why they had let themselves into our house. Were they going to steal something? Were they going to wreck it all for a practical joke? My mind was racing and I started to feel somewhat scared. I reached for my mobile phone in my back jean pocket as I continued to listen to their voices and footsteps down in the kitchen. Their high heels scratching against the tiled flooring. I glanced down at my mobile phone and dialled Danny's number.

"She's probably upstairs, Jess," Chloe said. "She's grounded so she won't be able to escape."

Heels started to clunk up the stairs. In a panic tried to cancel the call to Danny. But he answered.

"Kayleigh?" His voice called out.

"Danny … _help_ me-"

One of the girls pushed open the door, smacking me on the head.

I fell to the ground.

"Kayleigh? Kayleigh, what's going on?" Danny's anxious voice shouted through my phone.

I suddenly blacked out.

* * *

I woke up lying in a ball on my bed. I wasn't too sure how long I was out for but I guessed it wasn't that long because Tracie's girlfriends were still in my bedroom. Before I realised what they had done, the four of them started laughing. Only then did I notice that they had tied my wrists and ankles together in rope. I wriggled in an attempt to free myself.

"What are you doing?" I shouted, feeling rather terrified.

"Stopping you from performing at McFly's gig you unworthy bitch." Jenny cackled.

I paused a moment with my mouth agape, shocked at how ridiculous their plan was. "You're disgusting! All of you!" I snapped. "What kind of sick joke are you playing at?" That was when Chloe drew out duct tape out of her leather handbag. I widened my eyes in disgust before bursting out in fits of laughter. "Are you being _serious_?" I spluttered although no one responded. They just stood there, watching me lying helplessly on my own bed. "Please tell me you're not serious about this."

"I don't think you'll ever realise, Kayleigh, that Danny doesn't even like you. Nor does he want to spend his time with a stupid, immature little girl who does nothing other than think about herself." Jess hissed as she looked pointedly at my guitar which was stood up against my wardrobe.

I rolled my eyes, thinking about what Danny and I had done the day before. "You are so pathetic, you really are, Jess. Just face the fact the Danny and I are in love with each other and you know it. Pretending that I'm some stalker isn't going to work so just fuck off!"

With that, Jess snatched the tape out of Chloe's hands and ripped off a piece. I started wriggling on the bed, trying to pull my wrists free as Jess approached me. I looked up and noticed that Jenny, Katy and Chloe were all exchanging glances. The look on their faces read that they were not agreeing with what Jess was doing.

Jess bent down beside me, her face close to mine. She smirked as she stuck the tape over my mouth.

"There you go. This'll teach you to keep your mouth shut you little bitch." She paused as she glared at me, hating every single inch of me, as much as I hated her. "Just be warned, Kay. You may think that you're so in love with Danny but it won't last long. Especially when he sees your letters."

I narrowed my eyes as I tried to understand what she meant.

"Just think about what you've written to Panya."

I frowned and yelled at Jess but my words were completely muffled by the tape. Jess laughed hysterically as she chucked me under the chin before leaving with the other three, closing that door behind them.

I heard the front door close and I spent what felt like hours trying to rid my wrists and ankles from the rope but it was useless. After a while I gave up and rested my head down onto my pillow, my eyes filled with hot tears of anger.

I glanced at my clock sitting on my bedside table. It was getting on for four-thirty in the afternoon and I knew that there was no way I'd be able to get to the gig without someone coming into the house to look for me. I knew I needed the rescue but I wasn't too sure if I could completely rely on that. But then I thought that Danny could've at least rescued me. He picked up my call. He must've known that something was wrong.

I then started to ponder what Jess meant about my letters to Panya. What I wrote to her wouldn't effect Danny alone … would it?

The minute hand on my clock was going round swiftly and it was getting closer to quarter past five. I closed my eyes and hoped that I was in some very strange dream. But I knew it wasn't. I fell asleep and woke up suddenly at six that evening.

That was when the front door burst open, making me jump. I stared round my room with wide eyes as the door closed. I was expecting it to be Jess again.

"Kayleigh?" The familiar female voice called up the stairs. I remained silent, not knowing what I wanted to do.

"Kayleigh, sweetie, are you up there?" Another female voice called, less anxious about the one before.

"Maybe Jess took her out or something." I recognised as Sam's voice. That was when I let out throaty yells of help that was still muffled by the duct tape. The sound of footsteps raced up the stairs and in came my twin sister, Tracie, followed by Lisa, Angie, Sam and Charlotte. Tracie had the look of horror on her face as she saw me tied up. She rushed to my side, putting her hand to my cheek.

"I'm so sorry," She cried, tears filling up her eyes. "Can't believe I've been so stupid not to see the awful person Jess is," She then reached for the tape over my mouth, making me flinch a little. "This'll hurt, Kay." She said and then quickly ripped it off. I cursed loudly at the pain.

"I feel your pain." Sam said laughing. I forced on a smile as Lisa and Angie started to remove the rope on my wrists and ankles.

"How did you find out about this?" I asked.

"Lisa had proof from Jess that she was stopping Kayleigh from going to the gig and lucky that Tracie overheard as she came in," Angie started. "It then led to this massive bitch fight and now Tracie is no longer friends with Jess and the other girls."

"And good riddance," Tracie said. "I can accept her bitchiness but not when it comes to my twin sister. That's a whole different story."

"We looked for you everywhere, Kayleigh." Charlotte said as she took me by the hand and helped me off the bed. "You never answered your mobile nor home phone so we guessed that you weren't home. But we bumped into your brothers and they said that you should be home. That was when Jess came over."

I rubbed at my wrists where the rope was tightly tied around, leaving red marks. Sam picked up my guitar, my music sheet to _Shadows in the Night_ and we all scrambled into Charlotte's car who drove us over to the bandstand.

I glanced down at my watch and we were already late. We had no time to have a quick rehearsal or sound check. We ran to the side of the bandstand where the stairs were. I looked around at my surroundings, hoping that Danny or any of the McFly boys would come out but they didn't. The buzz from the audience made me feel sick with nerves. I wasn't ready for that. I didn't want to go on stage.

"Guys we can't sing our new song," I said, spinning round to face my band. "We haven't even rehearsed it together and it could go terrible wrong."

Lisa shrugged. "It's now or never." She said.

I glanced at Charlotte who sighed. "Don't keep your audience waiting any longer. Your father, your brothers and Joe Carr are out there waiting for you," I rolled my eyes at the thought of Joe Carr watching me. "McFly are already losing their heads with stress about this. They've been looking for you all day so it's best if you go on stage now and perform like there's no tomorrow."

I smiled and kissed Charlotte on the cheek. I then turned to my band as we went into a group hug. We were then told that all our school teachers were in the crowd, including Samantha and my boss, Gerald. It made me feel somewhat happier that people I knew were watching us.

We then headed for the stairs. The lights went out and the audience started to cheer as we walked onto stage, one after the other. I plugged guitar into the amp, looked out at the audience and took in a deep breath.

Angie began playing away at the drums for eight beats before I started strumming away on my guitar. Then Sam came in with the bass and then Lisa on the keyboard. We all started to sing the chorus of the song in harmony as the lights went up. The crowd started cheering and dancing during the song.

I was having the time of my life.

The song went perfectly well. Although we hadn't rehearsed it beforehand we performed it well with no slip-ups.

The crowd went wild by the end of the song and we went straight into _Leave It All to Me_, followed _by Too Close for Comfort_ and then _7 Things_.

I was already sweating by the end of our set. The four of us came together to take a bow before walking off stage while the crowd applauded us.

My knees were trembling as we reached behind the bandstand. We cheered, laughed, kissed, hugged and high-fived each other in joy. We couldn't be happier with the result of the gig and how well our performance went.

That was when someone wrapped their arms round my waist, picked me up and spun me round.

"You were amazing." As I heard his northern accent whisper in my ear, I felt a tingle of excitement run through me. McFly had joined us and were congratulating us on such a good show. Angie and Harry were already kissing. I turned to face Danny, his hands on my hips.

"We were running around looking for you all evening, scared as hell that you wouldn't come here in time," Tom said. "It came as a huge surprise as we heard you playing."

I bit my lip as I continued to gaze at Danny. I loved him. I knew I did.

"I'm so proud of you." He said softly as he tucked a bit of hair behind my ear. "I hope to come here more often and see you performing like that," He then leaned to my ear. "I want you to come up to London with me. I want to spend more and more time with you. I love you." And with that, he buried his face into my neck and kissed my skin softly. I gasped, feeling a twang of guilt, knowing that I hadn't told anyone about moving to Brighton. I didn't want to let anyone know. I wanted to see what would happen if I just left without a word.

"Danny." I started, pulling his head up. He looked me in the eyes. I struggled to get out what I wanted to say, but I knew that I couldn't hold it in any longer. "Can I come back to yours after the gig?" I whispered.

Danny paused a moment before a smirk formed. He knew exactly what I meant. "And miss the after-party?" His smile became wider. "All for you." His lips crashed onto mine. I didn't care what my mum would say about not being at home. I didn't care that Danny was leaving to go back to London the following day. And I didn't even care that Jess still wanted to pull us apart. I was ready to sleep with Danny. I was in love with him and that was all that mattered.

We joined Tracie, Charlotte, my father, my brothers and Joe Carr in the audience when McFly went on to perform. They started with _Five Colours_. Their fans screamed like mad. I danced with Angie. The night was perfect and I knew that it was going to get better.

At the end of the gig, the crowd started to slowly file out as my band found our way behind the bandstand where McFly was. My dad and Joe Carr joined us, followed by my brothers. Dad stayed by my side and I finally introduced him to Danny. Danny seemed pleased to meet my dad properly as they gave each other a firm handshake. After a couple of drinks, Danny took me by the hand and started to take me in the other direction that everyone else was heading.

"Mate, aren't you coming?" Harry called. Danny and I turned. Harry had his arm draped over Angie's shoulders who was giggling.

"Nahh I'm fine." Danny said. Harry raised his eyebrows before nodding and then following everyone else. With that, Danny and I turned and walked through the streets of Eastbourne. We walked in silence but the walk from the bandstand to their hotel didn't take long. Their hotel was on the seafront.

We took the lift up to the floor where their room was.

"Are you sure about this?" Danny asked as the doors of the lift closed.

"Positive." I replied.

"I'm not going to force you, Kayleigh. I don't want to hurt you or anything."

Stopping him from saying anymore, I turned and kissed him on the lips. Danny fell backwards, his back against the wall of the lift. His hands on my lower back, he pulled my hips forward onto his. There was no gap between us as I wrapped my arms around his neck, snaking my fingers through his floppy brown hair. Danny's hands slid down over my bottom and onto the back of my thighs and as soon as the doors of the lift opened, his picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and continued to kiss him as he carried me to their room. I kissed at his neck, sucking at the skin, wanting to leave a mark there as he opened the door. Glancing over his shoulder, I noticed that the first room was a lounge/kitchen and around were different doors to different rooms.

Danny carried me through to a door which led to his bedroom. He dropped me down on his bed. He pulled off his shirt and at the same time I pulled off mine. Danny was on top of me, kissing my vigorously on the lips as his hands touched my front, cupping my breasts and then sliding down my stomach. He reached for my trousers, popping open the button and slowly pulling the zip down.

I gasped as Danny's cold fingertips traced the elastic band of my kickers. His skilful fingers teased me as he eventually pulled my jeans off. His hand slid under the elastic band of my kickers and he teased me once more. I let out a throaty moan as I dug my nails into his bare back. Danny smiled as he leaned in to kiss me softly on the lips.

It wasn't long until Danny was inside me, making love. We both let out groans of pleasure and I found myself moaning Danny's name aloud.

Danny bit my lip before asking if I was okay. I nodded, knowing that it was the best night of my life.


	10. Chapter 9

**Sunday 27th April**

I woke up that morning snuggled into Danny, our legs entwined with one another. I watched Danny's peaceful state as he slept soundly beside me. His breathing was slow and even. I smiled to myself as I leaned in and softly kissed him on the lips. Pulling away from him, I turned and slid out of bed, careful not to wake him up. I gathered my clothes that were thrown on the floor from the night before and clambered into my trousers and my hoodie. I then snuck out of the bedroom into their kitchen, only to find Tom stood by the counter brewing up some tea.

Tom had obviously sensed me approaching because he turned to face me with a bright smile on his face.

"Morning, Kayleigh," He said cheerfully as he ran his fingers through his spikey blonde hair. "Tea?" He gestured to the boiling kettle. I shook my head as I walked towards Tom who poured tea for himself in a Power Rangers mug.

"Tom," I started as I folded my arms and leant against the counter. "Do you want _Too Close for Comfort_?"

Tom looked at me but I remained staring at his mug of tea. Tom said nothing so I carried on.

"When I first wrote the song, I spent so many days waiting and waiting for a reply from a record company to accept my song. I'd always send it away in hope that someone would like it and that one day, I'd hear it play on the radio," I sighed. "It doesn't feel right that I'm the one performing it and," I paused. "And I'd like you to have it. I love to see it on the track list to one of your future albums."

"What made you think of this?" Tom asked.

_Because I'm moving away to Brighton on Wednesday and I'm not sure how I'd be able to keep on with the band._

"You don't have to have the song if you don't want it, Tom."

"No," Tom said stopping me as he put as firm hand on my shoulder. "I'm honoured." I smiled and thanked him. Tom offered me some tea again and I accepted.

I brought the tea into Danny's bedroom and woke him up by kissing him fully on the lips. I could feel Danny smirk through the kiss as he held onto my hips and pulled me down onto the bed but I pulled away.

"Danny I need to get home," I said as I broke away from him. "Mum is going to go crazy knowing that I'm not home."

Danny looked disappointed. "Kayleigh, this is my last day here. We're leaving later this afternoon."

"I know, I know," I said, stroking his cheek. "I won't take any longer than an hour and then I'll be back to spend the remaining of the day here with you, I _promise_."

Danny tugged at my arm and pulled me onto his bed. I allowed him as he wrapped his arms tightly around me, holding me close to him as possible. I closed my eyes tightly and buried my face into his shoulder, never wanting to let go. Danny stroked my hair as I left little kisses on his bare skin. We stayed in that position knowing that neither of us wanted to say goodbye.

"Funny how about six weeks ago we only just met." Danny whispered. I remembered that Monday night at the funfair. The night I first met McFly. The time when I disliked boy bands and hated the idea of seeing McFly perform later that same week. My life had changed drastically in the space of six weeks. So much had happened and it was all down to McFly and my relationship with Danny.

"Danny," I started, looking up at him. "I'm moving to live in Brighton with my dad on Wednesday."

Danny's forehead creased as he frowned a little. "What? Is this new?"

"No. I've planned this for some time. I've just never had the guts to tell anyone," I then let out a loud sigh. "I'm doing this for you, Danny. I know that living with my father I'll have more of a chance to go up to London to see you on a regular basis. If I stay here in Eastbourne, I have less chance to get round mum and I think I'm done with letting her down."

Danny held onto me tighter. "I love you Kayleigh Slovenia."

"I love you too Daniel Jones."

And I meant it. I rolled over so I was lying on top of him. We paused a moment before we kissed.

I left their hotel suit saying that I'd be back in an hour. Well an hour was what I had in mind…

The house was quiet when I walked in and I managed to sneak up into my bedroom unheard. My bedroom was empty but there was a sticky note left on the door, written by Lovely Little Liam. He was out with Headband Dan and Screaming Lord Thomas playing football with their school friends again and Tracie had gone over to see her boyfriend, upset over Jess. The note ended with "_You were amazing last night. Couldn't be a more proud baby brother_." I smiled to myself as I entered my bedroom. I found my mobile phone lying on my already-made bed sheets. It was ringing.

I ran to my phone and answered.

"Hello." I called.

"Are you happy now?" Lisa's harsh tone spat down the other end of the line.

In all honestly I did feel happy. I was in love but the tone of Lisa's voice frightened me. "About what?"

"Don't be stupid, Kayleigh." She hissed.

"I'm not being stupid." I replied indifferently.

"I remember when I wanted to be somebody. I wanted people to look at me and smile, knowing who I am for the better, not the worse. Yet I found that this obsession grew stronger as the days went by," It was almost as if Lisa was reading something off a piece of paper. "I only wanted to be in a band because it would help me to become someone, and also because Lisa so stubbornly reminded me that I had to stop backing out of everything. I started my band for my own sake. I don't really care about how much they like being in a band with me, I know I've used them to get my-"

I hung up on Lisa and pelted down the stairs. Pulling open the front door I ran as fast as my legs could carry me down my road, through the streets of Eastbourne towards Lisa's house. I pushed past people on my way, not caring if anyone kicked up a fuss. It was Jess, I knew it. Jess had re-written my last letter to Panya out of spite. I felt dread run down my spine, knowing that this was the worst thing she could have done.

Once I reached Lisa's house, I frantically banged loudly on the front door to her house.

"LET ME IN, LISA!" I shouted, banging my first continually. Hot tears started to form in my eyes. "Lisa _please_ just open the door. I can explain!"

There was no reply but I knew that Lisa would be stubborn enough to pretend I wasn't there. I hit my fist one last time on the door.

"I'm going to knock down this door if you don't open it, Lisa." I threatened her. I waited a couple of seconds before the door opened ajar. "Please," I whispered. "I can explain."

"Explain what?" Came Sam's voice. I hesitated, not expecting to hear from Sam. "What is there to _explain_, Kayleigh?" He opened the door fully. I remained standing there unable to find my voice. "You've done enough damage, Kayleigh. I'm surprised I didn't see this before."

"I don't even know what I've done wrong." I voice cracked as I tried my hardest not to cry.

"Used us."

"Please just let me read the letter-"

"Why?" Sam snapped. "To make up more excuses?"

"I didn't write that," I paused. "Well maybe some of it is my own writing but I _promise_ you I didn't say anything about you."

"Thing is, Kayleigh, I don't even know whether to believe you or not. I hope you have a good time in Brighton."

I felt my stomach churn with sickness. "Sam…" I said softly.

"You don't have to explain anything, Kayleigh." Sam said sternly.

"How … how did you get the letter?"

Sam sighed. "It was posted through Lisa's letterbox earlier today."

"Sam please listen to me," I sputtered. "It was Jess! I'm serious, Sam, it was Jess! She even told me so."

"Where's the proof?"

I hesitated. Sam raised his eyebrows. A tear rolled down my face. How could I be so careless? How did Jess manage to get onto my e-mail to re-write my letters to Panya? Or had I actually written it while I was angry but saved it somewhere else? I racked my brain trying to think of the different possibilities that led to losing my closest friends.

Sam started closing the door on me.

"No!" I cried, stepping forward but the door clicked shut. "Sam _please_. I'm sorry. I really am." I whispered. I pressed my hand into the painted wood of the door. I could hear Sam crying from the other side of the door. Not tears of hurt or tears of anger but tears of frustration.

I walked back through the streets of Eastbourne with my arms folded across my chest tightly. The skin on my face ached. I couldn't find any more tears to cry. My eyes were dry.

The wind blew at my face and I considered for a moment to walk over to dad's hotel to visit him but instead, I walked along the promenade. On my way, I saw the old couple I had seen many times before sitting on the same bench. They stopped what they were doing to watch me. I watched them too as I passed before looking away as I carried on up the promenade. I couldn't understand how something so perfect could be destroyed in a matter in minutes. I wanted Lisa, Angie and Sam to know that I was sorry and that I had never intended to hurt them in that way, but at the same time, I couldn't find any way to explain the letters.

I reached the top of my road and headed towards my house. I still wasn't too sure if mum was in or not and I hoped that she wasn't. I fumbled for my house key in my back trouser pocket as I had reached the front door.

"I feel like I'm losing my love for him because of what he did. It almost makes me regret the moment I started to get to know McFly and became friends with them. I understand that it wasn't part of my plan to really get to know them … But now I'm questioning myself if he really is worth it all."

I had recognised those sentences as my own writing.

I slowly turned round to see Danny standing on the pavement, holding a sheet of paper out in front of him and reading.

"Danny I …"

Danny looked right through me. "Who have you become, Kayleigh?"

I shrugged. "I don't know," I whispered before taking a step toward him. "Please let me explain."

"Explain what, Kayleigh? That you've lied to me this whole time? That you only wanted to be my girlfriend to help you become known? That you've used me for my fame? That you've led your friends on?" Danny stepped away. He looked at me as if he couldn't believe what he was saying. "I was honest to you, Kayleigh. I poured my heart out at you and expressed how much I loved you."

"But I do love you, Danny!"

"No you don't," Danny said sternly, holding his arm out to stop me from walking any closer to him. "It was all for show."

"It's really not what you think." Tears started to fall out of my eyes again.

"Isn't it? Well explain then, Kayleigh."

I couldn't say anything because there was nothing to explain.

"EXPLAIN!" Danny yelled.

I sobbed as my heart started to fall into pieces. I stepped forward again, wanting to hold onto Danny for dear life. I wanted him to forgive me. To pull me into his arms and tell me that everything was going to be okay.

"Don't cry on me, Kayleigh," Danny hissed, slapping my hand away as I reached for him. "I'm thankful we're going back to London. I hope to never see you again." Danny's voice quivered. He looked at me one last time before turning away.

"Danny," I called out to him quietly. "Danny, I _need_ you." My voice broke and I was unable to find my voice. I remained on the spot as I watched Danny march down the road, his arms swinging down by his sides. When he was out of my sight, I stumbled back a few steps before running into the house. I ran through the front hall into the kitchen. I ran up the first few steps but stopped. Dad was standing on the landing, looking down at me. I felt nothing but sorrow weighing my shoulders down as I looked at him. Dad gave me a reassuring nod. He must've seen Danny and I from out the window. He opened his arms out to me and just as I was about to run to him, mum's bedroom door swung open.

"David, is that you?" She said. I quickly snuck back down the stairs to hide at the bottom. I could just about see my mum's legs through the railings, but she was unable to see me.

"I came over for a quick visit." Dad said his voice solemn.

There was a pause before mum groaned. "Well if you're looking for Kayleigh she's not here. I've been looking for that girl all day and her bloody sister didn't say anything apart from that she's staying with Charlotte. I can't even get through to Charlotte because I don't even know her number and…" Mum sighed loudly. I bit my lip realising how much frustration and stress I had put on mum. "I don't know what I've done wrong, David. Have I not been good enough to please her?"

"Kayleigh's been going through a really difficult patch at the moment, Zoe. Perhaps you should talk to her." Dad said calmly.

"But if I do she won't tell me! I feel as if she doesn't care for me anymore."

"You need to be firmer with her. Maybe if you did ask her and offered help, she might be willing to tell you."

There was a pause. I gripped onto the banister tightly, watching mum and dad.

"What's going on, David?" Mum asked. "I can't deal with having secrets kept from me and people telling me lies. I feel as if you know more than I do," There was another pause. "What's happening with us, David? Just tell me the truth."

I held my breath.

That was dad's opportunity to bring our family back together again. He looked down at me before turning back to mum.

"Truth is, Zoe, I no longer have any love for you. And you know it." Dad said. His voice was even. "There's too much going on and I don't have any room for a marriage. I'm sorry but that's the truth."

As he said it, I sobbed quietly as I turned and sat on the bottom step, burying my face into my hands.

"Well then," Mum said after a while. "That settles it then." She was trying to hold back the tears.

"I'm sorry." Dad whispered.

"Me too, David. Me too." There was the sound of a door closing as mum shut herself in her room. There was a long pause of silence. I could feel dad's sorrowful eyes boring into back of my head.

The day passed swiftly and dad left shortly after mum closed her bedroom door. He kissed me on the head before leaving the house without another word.

Mum stayed in her bedroom for the rest of the afternoon. I pressed my ears to the door and I could hear her quietly sobbing.

I spent the remaining on the day curled up in my bed, watching the sun lower in the sky. I had Dakota snuggled against my chest, sleeping. I stroked Dakota's fur backwards and forwards with my fingertips. The house was silent and as it got closer to five, mum stayed in her room.

Danny's voice was ringing in my ears. _And expressed how much I love you_. I did love Danny. With all my heart. But I couldn't make up excuses for what I had written. The words on the paper that Danny read out to me was what I had written. I had written it when I was so angry with Danny for hitting James. But that was then.

I had lost the love of my life.

I had lost my friends.

I had lost my family.

McFly were probably in London. I wondered how Tom, Dougie and Harry had reacted to my letter. Angie was probably devastated and I was too scared to call her.

At about half five, I climbed out of bed and started to remake it, smoothing down the sheets. I picked up the pillows and plumped them up again. However, as I picked up a pillow, I noticed something that was stuck between the wall and my bed. Slowly, I reached for it and pulled it out, careful not to rip it. Then I realised what it was.

The McFly poster. The one I had ripped off the lamppost six weeks ago when I was angry because I knew I had to go and see them. Tears filled my eyes at the memory. I sat on the edge of my bed and looked at the poster. I could almost smell the scent of Danny and feel his hands slip round my waist. It felt so real but I knew it was only my imagination. Danny was out of my life.

By six that evening, I went down to the kitchen and started to cook my family dinner. I found a packet of tortellini in the fridge. It wasn't long until my siblings all came home. The mood in the house suddenly brightened up as my brothers walked in, chatting, laughing, hot and sweaty from their football game that they had been playing all day. Not one of them knew what I had been through.

"Wow, this is new. Kayleigh is cooking!" Thomas said before laughing. Dan nudged me as I stirred the tomato pasta sauce in the pan. I put on my best efforts to show that I was happy. I beamed at Dan and laughed. Liam took down plates from the rack at started to lay the table.

"Fancy a game of slam later?" I heard Thomas say to Dan.

Tracie took off her leather jacket and hung it up on the banister.

Mum must've heard my siblings come in because she had walked down the stairs with a big smile on her face.

"How was the game?" She asked cheerfully and Dan answered her with explaining how the game went. "And Kayleigh is cooking us dinner! Isn't that wonderful?" She beamed as she kissed me on the cheek, squeezing my shoulders. "I very much appreciate it darling."

Once the tortellini was cooked, I gave everyone a medium sized portion. We all sat down at the table and started to eat.

"Kayleigh, I think it's time we talk about yours and Tracie's birthday. I remember you wanted to have a big party." Mum said.

"It's not going to happen." I mumbled.

"What? Why?" Mum sounded really taken aback. "I thought you wanted this."

"I don't anymore."

"She's just sulking because McFly have gone back to London, mum." Thomas teased as he stabbed at his dinner with his fork.

I kept my focus on the food on my plate.

"So this thing you had on Danny, was it really there?" I didn't reply so mum sighed and carried on. "Sweetheart, you've really got to learn how to let people go."

_You should know how it feels, mum_, I thought.

Mum sighed again. "God knew how much I hated you being with him after you lied to me about his age but do you know why I like him? It's because he's done the right thing and left. I know how much trouble you got in while being with him, especially with the other girls from school."

I saw Tracie shift nervously in her seat from the corner of my eye.

"But how do I forget him?" I asked, looking up at mum who was sat at the other end of the table to me.

Mum leaned back into her chair. "You just need to move on. Leave the things that he left on the floor and do stuff that'll help you for forget him."

I frowned. "Dad wouldn't say that." I hissed.

"And is your father's opinion really that relevant right now, Kayleigh?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact it is," I narrowed my eyes as silence filled the kitchen; even Dakota was silent. "If dad was here right now, he'd tell me to go after Danny. He'd tell me that if I want to be with Danny then try anything."

"Well that's not going to happen because he's not even here. You have exams to pass."

I leaned forward. I was ready to tell her. "Mum, I've made my mind up a long time ago and I'm going move to Brighton with dad."

There was a short pause.

"Now you're just being silly-"

"But I'm not! Mum, I have a way to actually get back with Danny from Brighton. If I live with dad, he will let me to go to London to find him. But here I can't because I'm under house arrest. So instead I'm just sitting here eating pasta!" The more I spoke the louder my voice became from frustration.

"Well that's never going to happen, Kayleigh. It won't work that way. You've broken my trust."

I managed to laugh a little. "Do you know why I've always been sneaking out the house?" I asked but mum didn't reply. "Remember six weeks ago when I said that I was starting a band with Lisa and Angie?"

"You didn't."

"Oh yes I did! All those countless revision sessions I've been going to were in actual fact gigs I've done. Weren't you at all suspicious why Charlotte was even at school when she was sent to hospital?"

Mum looked at my siblings as if they were going to help her out.

"She's brilliant on stage." Thomas said before filling his mouth with food.

"And how does Danny come into the picture?" Mum demanded.

I opened his mouth to speak but I couldn't get my voice out. Instead I slammed my elbows onto the table and put my face into my hands, letting out a loud sigh.

"But he was," I managed to say as I removed my hands. "He really was the one I loved, and now I've lost him," Tears started to fill my eyes again. "I'm not saying that I'll throw away my exams for him, I know I need to pass them but I'd do anything to be with him. And I know that I changed my life for dad all those years ago but I did become a better person when I was with Danny. I loved who I was when I was with him. I was happy," I looked at Liam. "You know. You've seen the change in me too!" I then removed my elbows from the table and carried on just as mum was about to speak again. "But when you really love someone, you don't just give up and let them slip through your fingers. You stand your ground, know what's best for you and no matter what other people say to you; it's you that has to make the effort to do what makes you happy. Everyone would just run away and I can't do that to Danny," I couldn't hold in in any longer. "I JUST CAN'T!" With that, I kicked the table, allowing the cutlery to fall on the ground with a loud clatter. I pushed myself out of the chair and ran out the kitchen, out the front door and back through the dark streets of Eastbourne.

There were less people walking on the second time round but it wasn't Lisa's house I was heading to. It was my dad's hotel.

I pressed the code into the keypad on the wall to let me in. Taking the key to his room out of my pocket, I let myself in. All the lights were off apart from a dim light that came from his bedroom. Closing the door, I walked through the narrow hallway towards his room.

Dad was sat at the end of the bed watching a video that was playing on the telly. The video was a family one. One that he had recorded. I leant against the doorframe with my arms folded and watched the video. It was recorded on mine and Tracie's sixth birthday. It was a sunny day and we were walking out the front door hand-in-hand. Liam was tugging on my other hand and Dan and Thomas were wrestling each other on the lawn.

"Come on boys!" Mum called on the tape. "Let's get in the car." The camera zoomed in on mum's face as she fussed over me and my sister. Uncle Robbie stepped out the house from behind, still nearly bold and a thick moustache sitting above his lip. I smiled at the memory. The time when we were a family. The time when we were all happy and we loved each other. Who would've thought that in ten years' time everything would fall apart?

The TV blacked out as the tape had finished. There was silence. I saw dad's reflection in the telly glance at me. He then turned to face me. No one said anything until he forced a smile.

"How's my girl?" He asked softly. I paused a moment before running into his arms. I couldn't cry. I had run out of tears but dad rocked me gently as he stroked my hair. We were both sat on the edge of the bed, rocking back and forwards.

"I told her," I managed to say. "I told mum that I'm going to live with you in Brighton."

Dad pulled away from me. "What was her response?"

I sniffed. "She thinks I'm being silly."

Dad sighed and stroked my cheek.

"I don't care. I'm still moving with you." I said.

"What about Danny?"

I glanced down at the bed sheets. "He's gone back to London, not wanting to have anything to do with me." There was a long pause of silence.

I noticed dad's acoustic guitar sitting beside the doorframe. I stood up and picked it up.

"I wrote a song earlier today." I said as I sat back down onto the bed with the guitar on my lap.

"What's it about?" He asked.

I looked at my dad. "Us."

"Can you play for me?"

I smiled as I looked down at the guitar. My fingers rested on the frets on the neck and I started to strum away. I say a song about how dad looked after me. How he took care for me. How he was always there for me when times were rough. How I thanked him for helping me change my life around.

I saw tears in his eyes as I sung to him and from then on, I knew that I couldn't let him go.


	11. Chapter 10

**Tuesday 29****th**** April**

Dad stood by me the whole time. His hand firmly gripping onto my shoulder for support. My only friend, Charlotte stood the other side of me. We were standing behind of the curtains of the stage. After agreeing to do another gig with my band that day, Mr Smallcombe had booked us to perform in the garden of one of the hotels on the sea-front. The stage was put up for us and a crowd arrived and waited to see _Broken Wings_, yet they were to be met with disappointment. The band no longer existed and there would be no longer any gigs from them.

I had to break the news to the eagerly awaited crowd. I had to be the one to tell everyone that _Broken Wings_ were over for good. Lisa, Angie nor Sam would do it. They would stay far away from the memory as much as possible.

I heard the crowd chatting amongst one another in excitement. I drew in a deep breath. It was my last day in Eastbourne before I would move to live with my father in Brighton, and performing for the final time was a perfect ending. And I was going to do exactly what Charlotte had wanted me to do since I was ten.

It was a warm spring day. The sun shone brightly in the blue sky and was every so often covered by the white, fluffy clouds. There was a light, constant breeze in the air.

"Are you ready?" Charlotte asked, squeezing my hand.

I nodded and turned to my dad. He hesitated before smiling weakly.

"I'll be here when you've finished." He whispered before letting go of my shoulder.

I turned to the stairs and started to walk up them, not looking back. There was applause from the audience as I walked across the stage, with no guitar in hand, towards the microphone stand at the front. Charlotte walked behind me and took her place on the black stool behind a grand piano.

The applause died down once the audience noticed that it was just me. Kayleigh Slovenia without her purple electric guitar.

I stood behind the microphone, holding onto it and breathed.

"Hi," I said. "I know you've all come here to see _Broken Wings_ perform this afternoon and you're probably wondering as to why my other band members have not turned up," The audience were sat on wooden chairs brought out from the hotel's restaurant and sat in the middle I saw my mother and Uncle Robbie. "Well to tell you the truth, I'm afraid to say that _Broken Wings _no longer exists. The other three members left. They left because of me. Because I had messed everything up and I can't do anything to re-think my past actions," I thought I had seen Harry Judd in the audience but it was just a fragment of my imagination. "We all make mistakes in our lives and we all wish that we can turn back to clocks to revaluate what we've done. But we can't. We only have the ability to control our future," The wind started to blow as the sun was hidden behind a cloud. "I apologise to those who I've hurt in my life and I apologise to all of you for coming here expecting to see _Broken Wings_. I can only let you down and I'm sorry." I sighed and turned to Charlotte. It was hard for me not to cry. "I." There was a pebble caught in my throat and I found it difficult to get my words out. That pebble had remained there in my throat since Sunday. "So in replacement of this gig, if you don't mind, I'm going to sing you a song. A song written by my closest friend. She wrote it from my point of view saying that no matter what happens, you're willing to be there to catch people who you love when needed and to help them get back on their own two feet," I pursed my lips. "So I'm dedicating this to everyone and Charlotte."

The audience cheered and clapped for me and I gave Charlotte a reassuring nod. She started to play the piano and I sang the lyrics she wrote in the song for me: _Falling Back_. The first part of the song was slow, allowing me to sing every line with true meaning, and then the beat kicked up a little. I started to enjoy the song more as it went on and the audience stood on their feet, dancing along.

By the end of the song, there was applause again. Everyone was cheering, whistling and clapping. I turned to look at Charlotte who was smiling at me with tears in her eyes. I had done what she wanted me to do for six years.

I watched my audience as they applauded me. I met mum's gaze who was crying. Once everyone had stopped clapping, I turned to the microphone.

"Thank you for letting me live this moment." I croaked before turning and walking off stage to join my dad. The audience were left in silence.

It was later that evening and I took a walk around Eastbourne in the dark on my own. It was close to eleven that night and I just wanted to leave the house to clear my mind. Hands dug deep in my hoodie pockets; I kept to a slow pace, taking in Eastbourne for the last time. I walked along the sea front, through the town, past my school and around neighbours. I walked towards north of the town where there was a large skateboard park. It was empty so I took advantage of the opportunity to walk through it where I would usually avoid it when there were people about.

I kept my mind on starting anew. I would be living in Brighton with my dad to start my life all over again. If my GCSE exam results turned out well, I would go onto college to study music where I'd meet new people who would know nothing of my past. What happened in Eastbourne would stay in Eastbourne.

I also had the chance to go to London and find Danny again. Although it was clear that he would never want to be with me again, I still loved him dearly and I couldn't let go of him. I had to find him. I had to let him know that what I wrote in my letter to Panya about him was because I was angry. Angry that he had hit James. But I loved him. I had to be with him and I had to tell him so. At least try to make him believe it.

I thought I felt a vibration in my jean pocket but I ignored it, knowing that I was just being too hopeful on someone calling my mobile. I thought about visiting Lisa and Angie but I couldn't bear to hurt them anymore. Lisa had been my friend for as long as I could remember and I felt that she would be happier without me.

The second time I knew that I wasn't imagining the vibration. I pulled my mobile out my jean pocket and held it to my ear.

"Kayleigh Slovenia."

His northern accent was too good to be true. It rang through my ears like church bells.

I froze on the spot not knowing what I was supposed to say. My legs were trembling. Why had Danny called me? Was he going to break my heart further? Did he find out something that I had done wrong and decided to shout at me?

I managed to get my act together. Swallowing hard, I spoke.

"I'm wondering why you're calling." My voice was clear and prominent. It didn't crack although on the inside, I thought it would.

Danny hesitated for a moment. "I hear you did your last gig this afternoon." His voice was weak which made me want to cry. I wanted him to be there with me.

"Yeah without my band. Just me and Charlotte," I then frowned. "How did you know?"

"Harry was watching you."

I was right. Harry in the audience wasn't a fragment of my imagination. But why had Harry gone to see me perform _Falling Back_ when he knew that Angie wouldn't be there? And why was Harry in Eastbourne and not in London with the guys? There was only one answer to that.

"Danny where are you?" I asked sternly.

"Turn around." He replied.

Instantly, I turned round and there he was. My Danny. He was sat high on a concrete wall, his legs dangling down beside a sign saying NO BALL GAMES. I don't think that either of us knew how to react. I hadn't seen Danny since he left that Sunday and I weren't expecting he would ever want to see me again.

A broad smile grew on my face from the sight of him but it felt like I couldn't get my legs to move. I wasn't too sure whether I should go to him or remain stationary. But I heard Danny's soft voice speak down the phone.

"Come up."

With that, I managed to unstick my feet from the ground and run to the wall, climbing up the stone staircase to reach him. Danny was sat on the grass, watching me as I slowly approached him. The wind blew at my face as I took my place on the grass next to Danny, allowing my legs to dangle down the wall just like his were. I saw that Danny was still watching me from the corner of my eye but I didn't dare to look at him. Because I was so close to him again, I was afraid to look at him in the eye. I wanted to rid the hurt I gave him over the weekend and I was terrified to see it in his eyes. I took in a deep breath.

"Why are you still here, Danny?" I asked. I wasn't condescending him, nor was I trying to push him away, I just wanted to know that after what we had been through, why had he come back to me.

"Do you remember that night at the disco where you, Lisa and Angie got overly drunk?" He asked. "I said that I refused to go back to London while you're mad at me."

"But I'm not mad at you."

"And we made a deal, didn't we?"

Tears started to prickle my eyes.

Danny sighed as he reached for my face, gently pulling back a strand of hair. "A deal where you wouldn't hate me for doing wrong."

"But you punched my heart. You've punched it, allowing it to break." I cried. Danny wiped the tears off my face.

"That was because you made me angry. Everything that you had written on that one piece of paper made me feel worthless and it felt like our love was all for show, just a trick for you to find yourself again."

I chewed on my lip, trying to stop myself crying and avoiding Danny' gaze.

"But when I look back at everything we've been through together, there were two big obstacles that stood between us: James Daniels and Jess Wells," The sound of Jess' name made me squirm. "But we pulled through it together, Kayleigh. When I reread your letter to Panya, I started to think more about these past weeks. You left me after Katy's party because you cared and didn't want me to get into trouble. You did everything you could to be with me and be in a band. You disobeyed your parents, losing your mothers trust all out of love for me. That's quite a big thing to do."

I sniffed before finally looking at Danny. "What do you want us to do?"

Danny shifted on the spot, letting out a loud sigh. "How about we forget that this weekend ever happened and start again."

"I'm moving to Brighton tomorrow," I said. "I've already packed all my things."

"I don't care. I love you, Kayleigh, and I want to be with you," He lifted my chin with his gentle fingers. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." I whispered.

We looked at each other for a moment before he kissed me softly on the lips. As he was about to pull away, I leaned in to kiss him firmer. I felt him smirk in the kiss.

I pulled away from him the second time and he wrapped his arm round my waist. I pulled my feet up under me, kicked off my shoes and rested my head into his chest, breathing in his scent. We entwined our fingers together.

Somehow it felt a little wrong. I didn't feel right. I had hurt him and he forgave me quickly. I felt that I really had to prove to Danny that I really loved him and nothing like that would ever come between us in the future.

We remained silent, enjoying each other's company.

"Danny," I started. "You said that we're going to forget everything that happened at the weekend. What about Saturday night?"

Pause. I said nothing else.

"Maybe we could re-live it." Danny said softly. I giggled as he stood up and pulled me up with him.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Danny and I stood face-to-face, holding hands and looking into each other's eyes. A smile grew on Danny's face as he led me by the hand down the stone stairs. We were both laughing as we walked down but as soon as we reached the bottom of the steps, back into the skate park, our happiness vanished as quickly as it had arrived. Danny gripped hold of my arm securely as he pushed me behind him.

"Fancy seeing _you_ here."

The sound of his voice sent shivers down my spine. Images from that night at the pier flashed in my mind. The look in his hungry eyes as he forced himself upon me terrified me but there was no way I was going to show James that I was frightened. I had to stand up to him and get him to leave me alone. As soon as I left Eastbourne to live in Brighton, I would never see him ever again.

"What are you doing here, James?" Danny hissed, walking backwards and still holding onto me.

"What am I not doing here?" James slurred. With a half empty bottle of beer in one hand, James staggered towards us. He was drunk. Jordan, Craig and Chris walked behind him, looking rather cautious and wary of him.

"James, mate, just leave them alone." Jordan warned but James just waved him off with a clumsy flick of the wrist.

"Have you recovered yet, Kayleigh?" James called, straining his neck to look over Danny's shoulder. "Have you recovered from that-"

"Oh just piss off!" I snapped.

James laughed and took a step forward as if he was going to run to me but Craig had grabbed hold of him and pulled him back.

"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?" James roared as he tried to free himself.

"You are the lowest of the low, James," Danny said. "Just accept the fact that Kayleigh is better off without you. If you never wanted to let her go then you shouldn't have dumped her in the first place."

"How's Chloe these days?" I spluttered. James glared at me. "How did she act when she dumped you?"

"Don't be pathetic; I was the one who dumped her."

I raised an eyebrow. "Like I was the one who dumped you?" There was a long pause of silence. Jordan, Craig and Chris all exchanged glances. I pulled away from Danny and took a step beside him. Danny tried pulling me back but I snatched my arm away. I didn't need to be protected. "Tell me this, James. What makes you think that lying to everyone you know would be the best way to get out of your own faults? Is it because you were Mr Popular at school you believed that it would be okay to lie to everyone about everything because we're all so stupid and will believe anything you say? And look at you now, James. You've already started to screw up your life and your only _friends_ seem to look at you like you may kill them." I nodded towards Craig who had let go of James. Straightening the collar of his jacket, James started to walk towards me. I stepped backwards, sensing that the concrete wall was close behind me.

"Kayleigh!" Danny warned, his voice quivering.

"Don't worry, Danny," I said, not leaving eye contact with James. "I've wanted to sort this out for a while." I held my breath as we stood face-to-face. "Just tell me," I whispered. "What's going on in your mind right now, James? What happened to the James Daniels I used to know? Why have you made yourself like this? If you left me for Chloe, why isn't it okay for me to be with Danny?" I was asking him all the questions I had been burning to ask him but even then I knew that I wouldn't get the answers.

James leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Open your legs sweetheart."

I frowned. Only my boss, Gerald, called me 'sweetheart' and hearing James whisper it made me feel physically sick.

"You're disgusting." I hissed through gritted teeth.

"I know you want to." James reached for my breast but I smacked his hand away and shoved him hard.

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERT!" I screamed. "I'M NEVER LETTING YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN!"

Both of our anger was taking over us.

"Dude, bloody leave her alone!" Chris shouted as he ran towards us. But then it happened before he could reach us.

James shoved me.

CRACK.

The next thing I knew I was sitting on the concrete ground, my back up against the wall. I didn't know how I fell. I couldn't even feel any pain.

My vision seemed blurry and I could just about see Danny's image beside me. He was calling my name, shaking my shoulder to say something back but I just blankly looked at him my mouth hanging open. In the distance, I heard people shouting and fighting. Jordan and Chris had James to the ground.

Craig had run to my side and said something to Danny which I didn't understand.

Taking all my strength, I lifted my hand and shakily touched the back of my head feeling the large gash where I had smacked my head on the corner of the concrete wall. I looked at my bloodied hand. Blood dribbled all down my arm and onto my clothes. I felt warm blood pouring down my back.

"CALL THE AMBULANCE!" Was all I heard before I blacked out.


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

My dearest girls,

I can't even begin where to start on how sorry I am, nor are there any words to express my selfish actions. Both of you are kind, loyal, trustworthy people and as you know I'm the opposite. And no matter how much I beg you for forgiveness, I will understand when you don't accept this apology. But I just need the reassurance that you know why I did what I did. And it wasn't out of spite. I can promise you that.

Lisa, you've been with me from day one. I still remember that day you met me at primary school. Mrs Avcoat put us in pairs during our maths lesson and since then, we became inseparable. It was nothing but parties, sleepovers, trips to the pier and laughing for the next six years of our lives. You were the only one who understood me at school and the only one who also didn't get on well with Jess Wells. And despite your obsession with boy bands and strong (and sometimes bitter) use of sarcasm, I managed to cope with you. I can't thank you enough for the support you've given me all my life and I'd like to think that you can think of me in the same way but I know that the answer is most likely no.

Then on the first day of secondary school we more or less saved you, Angie, from befriending my sister and her girlfriends. And to speak the truth, I'm so bloody thankful we did that and you didn't become one of them. Angie: you have been the most sweet-hearted and caring person I've ever come across and I don't think I'll ever meet another like you.

I guess the three of us made quite a team. We always worked together on school projects and spent every year on the hockey team. Although we never won I still had a blast. But I thank both of you for bringing _Broken Wings_ alive and giving me the happiest days of my life. I know we're no longer together as a band but you should be proud of the music we made and the response we got from our audience. And so should Sam. This experience will remain in your memory for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not, and I believe you should be proud of it. I know I certainly am.

When I re-read through my letter to Panya, I noticed that the copy you have wasn't completely written by me. Half of it was.

Don't believe me? I have the proof.

The real copy is saved in my email's sent box. The copy you have isn't.

Lovely Little Liam did a bit of investigation during the school break times, searching the email system to see who had been on their email after hours. And the only person who logged onto their email account in our year after we left was Jess Wells.

I hope that there's a tiny spark in your heart that'll bring you to forgive me and believe that not everything that was written in that letter was by me. I know that I haven't been a good enough friend when you have to me. I've been selfish. All I could think about was trying to learn who I am and as soon as we met McFly, everything became a little more complicated.

But thank you for the years that you have given me. Our memories together will stay strong with me forever. Don't forget that.

Yours always

Kayleigh

_I had written that shortly after I performed for the last time on my own with just Charlotte playing the piano. I never got round to sending it._

_When you look back at the past, you tend to pick out all the wrong-doings, what you could have done better, how you could have avoided certain situations and how you could've made the most of your younger years. You also know that you had the chance to control your future. You know that not every person you meet - whether it's at work, college or one of your neighbours - won't always like you and that you won't always like them. You will meet the best and the worst people in your life. That's just the way things turn out and you have to deal with it._

_Whenever something good happens, there's always something bad that's bound to come out of it, but then something even better will happen. Life is a miracle and you can do whatever you want to do with it._

_I wish I had the mind like that. Instead I felt so incarcerated in my own mind that I wasn't able to break out of it without losing my temper and losing those who loved me. Because my mother never liked the idea of me being in a band in the first place, that feeling of incarceration increased to the point that I had to spoil her trust to feel that freedom. Yet it never occurred to me to tell her how I felt._

_Words sometimes can solve everything. If you sit down and tell the truth things will seem so much better. If you act mature enough to let people know how you're exactly feeling, they may start to understand and help you in any way possible._

_But I said nothing._

_For the majority of my life I said nothing and continued to do so._

_And this is where my story ends._

_I was rushed to hospital after the incident at the skate park. Danny stayed at my side the whole time, refusing to leave the hospital as my dad and all the other doctors and nurses worked on me. Yet like the miracle life is, it wasn't my turn to die. I survived the fatal blow of my head. I had lost a lot of blood from the wound and had to stay in hospital for a few weeks therefore missing all my GCSE exams._

_You think that without getting any GCSE exams, there'd be no way you'd ever get a job. But I was lucky. Luck had really started to fall my way and it felt as if I was back to Beginners Luck._

_My injury and brought mum and dad back together. They had to revaluate the past few weeks and realised that they still loved each other and because of the state I was in, they couldn't separate. So the plan to move to Brighton was cancelled and I stayed in Eastbourne. It brought my whole family closer. Tracie and I were friends again, just like we were when we were young and Screaming Lord Thomas and Headband Dan played Slam more than often. I opened up to Liam a little more and we continued with our nights out in the tent._

_My dad passed my letter to Lisa and Angie and we met up at the pier shortly after I was released from the hospital. We were silent for what seemed like a long time but Lisa spoke the words Angie couldn't manage. Neither of them couldn't not forgive me and looking through the potholes, they knew I didn't mean what I had written. Everything seemed normal again and _Broken Wings_ were back again, including Sam. I felt genially happy. We toured with McFly later that year as their supporting act._

_One of my happiest memories the summer of 2004 was walking down the promenade hand-in-hand with Danny Jones while the sun was setting. Rather than glare at me or give me a rude remark, the old couple sat on the same bench and before smiled and waved at me as I passed._

_What's going to happen next in my life, I don't know. I plan to work with Universal Records as a song writer but whatever happens, I know that it's a double door waiting to be opened._

The end.

**A/N: **_**Feeling rather emotional now that this is finished. I've been writing and re-writing this trilogy for the past four years and I've become so attached to Kayleigh Slovenia. I feel really sad it's done but I hope you like reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it.**_


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